IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You and your friends ate a meal at a restaurant to celebrate a special occasion, and you were extremely dissatisfied with the experience. Write a letter to the restaurant manager. In your letter: Explain the reason for the celebration Give details of your visit to the restaurant Say what you would like the restaurant to do

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Dear Sir, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well. I am writing to express my dissatisfaction
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the service
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
I received at your restaurant, and
gives
Wrong verb form
to give
show examples
 you feedback for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
improvement. I am Sam, recently I visited
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your " Kwality restaurant" for the birthday celebration of one of our friends. We
choose
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
this
Linking Words
 location because of the peaceful atmosphere, and
also
Linking Words
 the food and services it is known for. On 2nd
july
Capitalize the proper name
July
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 month, we arrived at your restaurant at 6:00 pm. Earlier, we had ordered a Red velvet cake for our friend to give her
surprise
Correct article usage
a surprise
show examples
. Your staff did an amazing job by decorating a table with flowers and candles, which we truly appreciated.
However
Linking Words
, the food was not up to the mark. It contained a lot of spices and added peanuts
in
Change preposition
to
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 the rice pudding
even
Punctuation problem
, even
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 though we specifically mentioned that one of our friends is allergic to them. I humbly request you to train your staff, and ensure that they listen
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 instructions of the customers carefully to avoid
such
Linking Words
 incidents in future. You can
also
Linking Words
 hire professional chefs for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better customer experience, and include more variety in
menu
Correct article usage
the menu
show examples
 as well. I am looking forward to your prompt response! Yours
Faithfully
Fix capitalization
faithfully
show examples
, Sam

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task response
For task response: You answer all parts of the task, but add a bit more about what happened at the meal and what result you want from the manager.
task response
For task response: Use a more clear formal style. For example, say 'I am writing to complain about my recent visit' instead of more general lines.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good. Try to link ideas more smoothly with words like 'First', 'However', and 'As a result'.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Keep one main point in each part. The last part has staff, chefs, and menu in one place, so it feels a bit mixed.
task response
For task response: You explain the reason for the meal, give details of the visit, and say what you want the restaurant to do.
task response
For task response: The problem with the peanuts is clear and important, so your main complaint is easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: The letter is in clear parts, and the order of ideas is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: The greeting and ending are both suitable for a formal letter.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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