IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below gives information on the mumbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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It is a line graph comparing
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
participants
Use synonyms
 by activity
which in these
Change preposition
over the
show examples
 20 years from 2000-2020. Overview, the film club are consistently in
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 number and
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 overview rise.
The table
Correct determiner usage
Table
show examples
 tennis is the most rapidly growth which reach the second
number
Check wording
position
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the amateur dramatics
is slight decrease
Wrong verb form
has slightly decreased
show examples
. The martial arts
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
remain stable
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the musical performances are slight increase. In
film
Correct article usage
the film
show examples
 club, it started
at
Change preposition
with
show examples
 63
participants
Use synonyms
 in 2000, dropped
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to 60 in 2010,
then
Linking Words
rise the peak of data in
Correct word order
reached a peak of
show examples
 66. In table tennis, growth
form
Use the right word
from
show examples
 17 to 52 in 20years which had the fastest rise. Musical performances had no
participants
Use synonyms
 in 2000-2005,
then
Linking Words
 climbed to 18
participants
Use synonyms
 in 2020. In amateur dramatics, fall form near 30
participants
Use synonyms
 to 8
participants
Use synonyms
 in 2020
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 had a small peak in 2005. In martial arts, it remained relatively stable
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 there is relatively little change in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 figure.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words participants with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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