IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows the process of using water to produce electricity. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Get started →
The diagram illustrates how to use
water
Use synonyms
 in order to generate
electricity
Use synonyms
. The diagram shows that the process of producing
electricity
Use synonyms
 involves
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
natural resources, like
water
Use synonyms
,
as well as
Linking Words
 special human-built equipment. First of all, the
sun
Check wording
sun's
show examples
 energy evaporates some of the
water
Use synonyms
 from a sea. Evaporation forces clouds to form.
While
Linking Words
 the rain
goes
Punctuation problem
goes,
show examples
 the
water
Use synonyms
 is collected in a
purpose built
Correct your spelling
purpose-built
 reservoir. Afterwards, from a dam the
water
Use synonyms
 goes through a valve.
This
Linking Words
 movement
force
Correct subject-verb agreement
forces
show examples
 a turbine to rotate
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 process generates
electricity
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
electricity
Use synonyms
 is transferred by high voltage Cables to a transformer station. The
stransformer
Correct your spelling
transformer
 station supplies city buildings
such
Linking Words
 as schools and hospitals with
electricity
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the diagram indicates that the
water
Use synonyms
 which is involved in the process is used repeatedly. From the
tourbin
Correct your spelling
turbine
 it goes to a pump and than returnes to the reservoir.
Overall
Linking Words
, the illustration shows that there are 3 main steps in order to generate
electricity
Use synonyms
:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 collecting the
water
Use synonyms
, rotating the tourbin and accumulating
electricity
Use synonyms
 in the transformer station.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, electricity with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: