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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the bar graph below shows the percentage growth in average property prices in three diffrent countries between 2007 and 2010. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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the bar graph below shows the percentage growth in average property prices in three diffrent countries between 2007 and 2010. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart demonstrates the rates of the average growth of property
prices
Use synonyms
 in Algeria,
China
Use synonyms
 and Argentina from 2007 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the cost of properties in Algeria was higher in the past than
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 end of the period
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
conversely
Linking Words
, in
China
Use synonyms
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
prices
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 constantly growing
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
China
Add a comma
China,
show examples
 the
prices
Use synonyms
 were fluctuating throughout the given
four years
Correct word choice
four-year
show examples
 period. The average cost of houses in Algeria started at approximately 62
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2007
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 these
prices
Use synonyms
 continued
decrease
Verb problem
to decrease
show examples
 until it halved by 2010.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, property
prices
Use synonyms
 in
China
Use synonyms
 turned from affordable at just below 20 per
cent
Use synonyms
 to around
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
double in 2008, it steadily rose throughout the years
becoming
Punctuation problem
, becoming
show examples
 triple
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 initial number in 2010 at approximately 70 per
cent
Use synonyms
. As for Argentina, at the beginning of the
period
Add a comma
period,
show examples
 it was the second country among the other two in its average property
prices
Use synonyms
. Which
then
Linking Words
 went up in 2008, from just over 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2007 to reaching its highest value at nearly 50 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
prices
Use synonyms
 fell sharply to 12 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2009
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 in the next
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 figure
has
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
doubled.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words prices, china, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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