IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the percentages of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activities in 2010. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and comparison.

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The given bar chart illustrates the
Use synonyms
figure
Check wording
number
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 of men and
women
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 in Australia doing some sort of physical exercise in different
age
Use synonyms
 groups in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, there is an increasing trend among females across various
age
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Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 making exercise a daily habit as compared to men.
However
Linking Words
, there is
an
Correct article usage
a
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 decreasing trend between men taking part in exercise. As for
women
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,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
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 of going to
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
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 to keep themselves fit was about 48% as
slightly
Punctuation problem
, slightly
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 lower than from boys
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age
Change preposition
in the age
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group
Use synonyms
 of 15 to 24.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
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age
Correct article usage
the age
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group
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 of 25 to 34, females ratio was 49% in daily walking and running
as
Correct word choice
, and as
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 the
figure
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 continued to increase reached 50% in
35
Correct article usage
the 35
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 to 44 years
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women
Check wording
age group
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. The
figure
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 was 51
percent
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per cent
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 in
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age
Correct article usage
the age
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group
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 of 55 to 56 and
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
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 significantly around to 45% over 65
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 old
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apply
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women
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. As for
male
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males
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, 52% boys of
age
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 15 to 24
doing
Verb problem
are doing
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 their own type of workout for
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 life
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 the
figure
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 decreased remarkably to approximately 42% in
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
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group
Use synonyms
 of 25 to 34. 39 percent male utilize some time in yoga or in other activities in
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
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group
Use synonyms
 of 35 to 44.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words figure, women, age, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overall
  • percentage
  • age group
  • regular physical activity
  • higher than
  • lower than
  • the highest
  • the lowest
  • increase
  • fall
  • rise again
  • steady
  • gap
  • similar
  • compared with
  • in contrast
  • while
  • respectively
  • figure
  • rate
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