IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In most parts of the world, the volume of traffic is growing at an alarming rate. In the form of an assignment, discuss about the main traffic problems in your country, their causes and possible solutions.

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In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, most parts of the world
experiencing
Verb problem
are experiencing
show examples
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 volume of
traffic
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly
due to
Linking Words
 inconsistent or weak public
transportation
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
individuals
Use synonyms
 prefer to move from rural to urban
areas
Use synonyms
, but
roads
Use synonyms
 are not growing enough.
However
Linking Words
, there is a range of measures which can be implemented to mitigate
this
Linking Words
issue
Use synonyms
. One of the main causes is irregular public
transportation
Use synonyms
. People usually struggle with travelling in public
transportation
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
led
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
 to
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
 more private vehicles. Not only
Linking Words
this
Verb problem
does this
show examples
issue
Use synonyms
 often
results
Wrong verb form
result
show examples
 in
growing
Correct article usage
a growing
show examples
 number of private cars
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
led
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
 to air pollution
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
also
Linking Words
traffic
Use synonyms
 will increase on
roads
Use synonyms
. Another cause is not having sufficient
roads
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 rural
areas
Use synonyms
 are developing,
individuals
Use synonyms
 prefer to move
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 urban
areas
Use synonyms
 where they can live
modern
Correct article usage
a modern
show examples
 lifestyle.
This
Linking Words
issue
Use synonyms
 cause more number of people in urban
areas
Use synonyms
, but
roads
Use synonyms
 are not developing faster
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 results
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion in
such
Linking Words
areas
Use synonyms
. To resolve
this
Linking Words
 problem,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should
serious
Verb problem
take serious
show examples
 measures on public
transportation
Use synonyms
. There should be a fixed schedule of
transportation
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
frequency
Correct article usage
the frequency
show examples
 needs to be improved
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 encourages
individuals
Use synonyms
 to prefer public
transportation
Use synonyms
. In some countries, there is a restriction on buying private vehicles
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
as a result
Linking Words
,
traffic
Use synonyms
reduced
Verb problem
has been reduced
show examples
 significantly. Another solution is that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should invest
to construct more
Change preposition
in constructing
show examples
 faster routes in
the area
Check wording
areas
show examples
 where there is a significant amount of
traffic
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, direct bridges to
hospital
Correct article usage
the hospital
show examples
 could not only make it convenient
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 people to reach but
Linking Words
also
Punctuation problem
also,
show examples
 in case of
emergency
Correct article usage
an emergency
show examples
they
Punctuation problem
, they
show examples
 will not have to
stuck
Verb problem
be stuck
show examples
 in
traffic
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, not only
lesser
Verb problem
do fewer
show examples
roads
Use synonyms
but
Correct word order
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 more private vehicles cause
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 impact on
traffic
Use synonyms
 rates.
However
Linking Words
, with government support in constructing more
roads
Use synonyms
 and encouraging
individuals
Use synonyms
 to prefer public
transportation
Use synonyms
 by fixing the irregularities will
led
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 to
mitigate
Wrong verb form
mitigating
show examples
 the
issue
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Write a clearer first sentence. Use: traffic is growing fast in many places in my country.
task response
Answer all parts in a direct way: problems, causes, and solutions. You did this, but some ideas need more detail.
task response
Add one more clear traffic problem, such as long travel time, noise, or unsafe roads.
task response
Give more support for each main idea. Explain how weak public transport makes people buy cars.
task response
Use simple and clear examples. Your hospital bridge example is good, but explain it more simply.
coherence and cohesion
Make topic sentences clearer at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like because, so, also, and however.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. Some lines are hard to follow because ideas are too long.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear noun words: public transport, city roads, private cars, traffic jams.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with repeated ideas. Try not to say the same point in many ways.
task response
You answered the full question with causes and solutions.
task response
Your main ideas are on topic and easy to see.
task response
You included an example to support a solution.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, body, and end.
coherence and cohesion
You used basic link words like however, another cause, and to conclude.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main focus.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic jam
  • heavy traffic
  • road accident
  • air pollution
  • noise pollution
  • public transport
  • private car
  • rush hour
  • urban area
  • traffic law
  • illegal parking
  • speed limit
  • road safety
  • crowded roads
  • city center
  • traffic lights
  • careless driving
  • widen the roads
  • build new roads
  • reduce congestion
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