IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the three kinds of greenhouse gas emission sources (oil, coal, gas) in the UK.

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The given bar chart provides information about carbon emissions from three fossil fuels in the UK. The units
measured
Verb problem
are measured
show examples
 in
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that
gas
Use synonyms
 showed the highest
rate
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 in 2010.
While
Linking Words
,
Correct determiner usage
the
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 coal category demonstrated the largest amount
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 in 1990. Greenhouse
gas
Use synonyms
emission
Check wording
emissions
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 from
gas
Use synonyms
 increased slightly, from 220 in 1990 to 320 in 2010 and represented the highest
rate
Use synonyms
 in 2010, compared to other
gas
Use synonyms
pollutions
Use the right word
pollutants
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. In
1990
Punctuation problem
1990,
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 coal was the largest figure.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, coal
emission
Check wording
emissions
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 decreased slightly from 300
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
 to 180
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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throughout
Change preposition
over
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 20 years and turned to the smallest category in 2010.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
gas
Use synonyms
emission
Check wording
emissions
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 from oil showed fluctuation. In 1990, the figure produced 270
million
Use synonyms
tons
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
gas
Change preposition
of gas
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 and dropped to 230
in
Check wording
million tons in
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 1995. After that,
this
Linking Words
rate
Use synonyms
 rose slightly
till
Change preposition
to
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 260.
Finally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
rate
Use synonyms
 decreased mildly until 180
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in 2010.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words million, tons, gas, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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