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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in the UK in 2002.

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The pie chart gives information on the proportion of different
categories
Use synonyms
 of
families
Use synonyms
 living in
poverty
Use synonyms
 in the UK in 2002, expressed in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that sole parents and single
persons
Use synonyms
 without
children
Use synonyms
 accounted for the largest proportions, respectively, in 2002,
while
Linking Words
 aged
couples
Use synonyms
 and single aged
persons
Use synonyms
 registered the smallest percentages.
In addition
Linking Words
, single
families
Use synonyms
 were the dominant
Use synonyms
categories
Check wording
category
show examples
,
whereas
Linking Words
 couple
categories
Use synonyms
 constituted the lowest share. In 2002, sole parents and single
persons
Use synonyms
 without
children
Use synonyms
 represented the highest shares of 26% and 24%, making them the leading groups of
families
Use synonyms
 living in
poverty
Use synonyms
. All households and
couples
Use synonyms
 with
children
Use synonyms
 accounted for 14% and 15% of the
overall
Linking Words
 shares.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
couples
Use synonyms
 without
children
Use synonyms
 made up 9% of
families
Use synonyms
 living in
poverty
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 aged
couples
Use synonyms
 and single aged
persons
Use synonyms
 represented the lowest proportions at 5% and 7%, making them the least
Use synonyms
categories
Correct word choice
represented categories
show examples
 of
families
Use synonyms
 living in
poverty
Use synonyms
 in the UK

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, whereas".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 88%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words categories, families, poverty, persons, children, couples with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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