IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You recently visited a public library in your town and found some facilities were not in good condition. Write a letter to the library manager. In your letter: Describe the problems you found Explain how these problems affected your visit Suggest what the library should do to improve

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Get started →
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
regard to
Replace the word
regarding
 some facilities in
FDS
Correct article usage
the FDS
show examples
 library
were
Correct pronoun usage
that were
show examples
 not in good condition. I visited
las wednessday
Correct your spelling
last Wednesday
. First of all, I have been a member for 10 years. I love to copy some pages of the book, if I really like it
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 not the whole book. Unfortunately, the copy
machince
Correct your spelling
machine
 was broke and it has been broken
sinc
Correct your spelling
since
 April, which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has been broken for 3
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, computers are not working properly. I totally understand that FDS is a small library which not
much
Verb problem
have much
show examples
 funding to repair. There are 5 computers.
However
Linking Words
,
it was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
only one computer
can use
Wrong verb form
could be used
show examples
. I hope you consider
this
Linking Words
 matter to be serieces issue. I look
forword
Correct your spelling
forward
 to seeing new
maintanance
Correct your spelling
maintenance
 and upgrad version of the equipment. Yours faithfully, Lucy alisl.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Say all three parts more fully: what was bad, how it changed your visit, and what the library should do.
task response
Add a clear part about how the problems affected you, for example you could not copy pages or use a computer.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear order: first problem, second problem, effect, then your ideas to fix it.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in one paragraph so the letter is easier to follow.
task response
You wrote to the manager in a polite way and used a proper ending.
task response
You gave real problems in the library, like the copy machine and computers.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a beginning, middle, and end, so the reader can follow it.
coherence and cohesion
You used some link words like first of all, unfortunately, and furthermore.
Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: