IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

the charts below show tha average percentages in meals of three types of nutrients all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much

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According to
Linking Words
 the image,
sugar
Use synonyms
, sodium and saturated fat are added in every meal. During snack time
Use synonyms
sugar
Punctuation problem
, sugar
show examples
 sharply increase representing a 42% of the whole meat.
By contrast
Linking Words
, breakfast
remain
Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
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 stable and
balance
Replace the word
balanced
 without any ingredient with more than 20%. During dinner meal
sodium
Punctuation problem
, sodium
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 accounted the 43% as the largest proportion added,
following
Wrong verb form
followed
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 by
satured
Correct your spelling
saturated
 fat 37%,
Linking Words
finally
Correct word choice
and finally
show examples
sugar
Use synonyms
 represent the 23%. Lunch time is
stabilize
Wrong verb form
stabilised
show examples
 with
and
Correct determiner usage
an
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 average of 20%-25% of each ingredient.
Overall
Linking Words
,
sugar
Use synonyms
 and sodium are the dominant added
ingredient
Fix the agreement mistake
ingredients
show examples
 during dinner and
snack
Fix the agreement mistake
snacks
show examples
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average percentage
  • nutrient
  • unhealthy
  • eat too much
  • the charts compare
  • account for
  • make up
  • the highest percentage
  • the lowest percentage
  • a large share
  • a small share
  • followed by
  • in contrast
  • while
  • whereas
  • main meal
  • snack time
  • evening meal
  • contribute to
  • contains more
  • contains less
  • slightly higher
  • much higher
  • the biggest source
  • the smallest contributor
  • overall
  • it is clear that
  • can be seen
  • is concentrated in
  • is linked to
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