IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

YOU Recenty organized a Party For comPany CH a hotel. write a letter to the HOtEL. MANALTER. In Your leter Describe that Party and how it went explain why you were pleased with the hotels service suggest some improvemen

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to appreciate your services given to my staff on
celebration
Correct article usage
the celebration
show examples
 of our company’s foundation day.
Firstly
Linking Words
, thank you for arranging a celebration cake for us, though it was not a part of our agreement. Our team enjoyed the cake-cutting ceremony very well
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
cake
Correct article usage
the cake
show examples
 was
also
Linking Words
 delicious.
Also
Linking Words
, it is worth
to mention
Wrong verb form
mentioning that
show examples
 the quality of food was great, especially the snacks which were available to eat all the time during
celebration
Correct article usage
the celebration
show examples
. Thank you for all your efforts.
However
Linking Words
, I would like to bring
this
Linking Words
 to your notice if you could upgrade the music system. The
speaker
Check wording
speaker's
show examples
 sound quality was not good.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it was not accepting the Bluetooth connectivity as
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 of my colleagues were willing to play their own songs, which was not feasible
due to
Linking Words
 speaker compatibility with modern
Bluetooth enabled
Correct your spelling
Bluetooth-enabled
 devices and phones. Thank you once again for supporting us
to celebrate
Change preposition
in celebrating
show examples
this
Linking Words
 special day with my team. I look forward to connecting with you
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
such
Linking Words
 events on future. Yours faithfully, Daljeet Singh

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task response
Give a little more detail about the party, such as the number of staff, the place, or how the event went. This will make your answer more complete.
task response
Make the last request more clear. Say what you want the hotel to do, for example: “Please provide a better sound system with Bluetooth next time.”
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph on one main point. The first body paragraph can be about the party, the next about good service, and the last about the music problem.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links between ideas. For example: “The party went well. In particular, the food was very good.”
task response
You cover all three parts: the party, good hotel service, and one change.
task response
Your tone is polite and right for a letter to a hotel manager.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear start, main part, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “Firstly”, “Also”, “However”, and “Moreover” help the reader follow your ideas.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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