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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart and table below show the results of a survey of library users at a university. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Categories of library users (pie chart): - Full-time undergraduate: 44% - Full-time postgraduate: 25% - Part-time postgraduate: 16% - Distance learning (all courses): 8% - Academic staff: 7% Library user satisfaction (%): Very satisfied | Fairly satisfied | Not satisfied Library opening hours 65 | 35 | 0 Helpfulness of staff 95 | 5 | 0 Availability of books 50 | 40 | 10 Availability of journals 45 | 35 | 20 Reliability of wi-fi 48 | 33 | 19

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The pie chart and table
demostrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
demonstrate
show examples
 the
results
Use synonyms
 of a survey of
library
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 at a university. The chart
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 categories of
library
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
table
Correct article usage
the table
show examples
 illustrates
Use synonyms
users
Check wording
user
show examples
 satisfaction.
Overall
Linking Words
, one of the most popular categories is
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
full-time undergraduate
, the
Check wording
students, the
show examples
 full-time postgraduate
users
Use synonyms
 took second place in
this
Linking Words
 proportion. The
results
Use synonyms
 show that
helpfulness
Correct article usage
the helpfulness
show examples
 of staff
the
Verb problem
is the
show examples
 highest in
sector
Correct article usage
the sector
show examples
 "very satisfied" and nobody choosed sector "not satisfied" for it. Focusing on the pay chart, full-time undergraduate and postgraduate
make
Check wording
students make
show examples
 up 44 and 25
porsentage
Correct your spelling
per cent
 respectively, the academic staff and distance learning( all courses) have
difference
Correct article usage
a difference
show examples
between
Change preposition
of
show examples
 only 1%, where the former
7
Verb problem
is 7
show examples
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 letter 8
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
. Remaining 16% is past-time postgraduate
users
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
library
Use synonyms
 opening hours and helpfulness of staff
only
Rephrase
apply
show examples
did not had percentage in
third
Correct article usage
the third
show examples
 sector(not satisfied). Their
results
Use synonyms
the
Verb problem
were the
show examples
 best in campering with others, 65 and 35
percentages
Check wording
per cent
show examples
 had
library
Use synonyms
 opening hours,
while
Linking Words
 in
very
Correct article usage
the very
show examples
 satisfied and fairly satisfied sectors(first and second sectors) helpfulness of
stass
Correct your spelling
staff
 had 95% and 5%. The
others
Replace the word
other
results
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
, secind and third sectors were 50%, 40% and 10% had availability of books, 45, 35 and
20 percentages
Check wording
20%
show examples
 had availability of journals
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 48%, 33% and 19% had reliability of wi-fi.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 89%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words results, library, users with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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