The chart below shows the different levels of post school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999.

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This
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bar chart is
shwing
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showing
the different levels
post school
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of post-school
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qualification in Australia in 1999. And
i
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I
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further
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differentiates
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differentiate
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between
male
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males
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and females. The bachelor's degree has an almost equal percentage
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while
Punctuation problem
, while
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the
masters
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master's
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degree
gets finished
Wrong verb form
is completed
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by 60% males and 40% females. The skilled vocational diploma
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on
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, on
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the other
hand
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hand,
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is almost uniquely completed by the male gender.
On the other
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hand
Punctuation problem
hand,
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the Undergratuade diplome as 70% complition rate by
woman
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women
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. In
general
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general,
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we can say that post school qulification is neither dominated
bye
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by
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one gender
but
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, but
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there is an
overall
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balance to be found.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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