IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people prefer to do the same job for a very long time, whereas others prefer to change jobs frequently. Write about the advantages of each viewpoint.

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Some individuals in corporate culture
,
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 try to carry out a particular responsibility for a long time,
while
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 some of the workers change their jobs
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 as soon as they feel comfortable. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the advantages
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 of both of the scenarios. When people stick to one particular activity, it can be advantageous on various levels. Spending a long period in a particular field creates a vast ocean of knowledge
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 and increases the productivity of an employee. Workers start to enjoy their
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, and
this
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 enhances the quality of workplace culture. There was an internal survey conducted among the workforce of a vehicle manufacturing company, concerning the degree of satisfaction among the employees. The results showed that the members working from long time were fully satisfied with their assignment as compared to new recruits. On the flip side, jumping among
the
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jobs can
also
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 be beneficial for a worker. If an individual finds the same job at a different site, it can be helpful both professionally and economically. The new exposure helps to gain more experience and confidence. A recently published news article
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 illustrated that the people who had earned more promotions
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 were not doing the same job after a particular span of time. In conclusion, if we consider the factor of position satisfaction, it is usually seen among the workers who stick to the same post, but if an employee stays for too long,
the
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their
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 career may become stagnant.

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task response
Score: 6. You answer the main question, but some ideas are too general. Explain more clearly why staying in one job helps a person, and why changing jobs helps a person.
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The first example is not fully clear. Say what the workers liked about the job and how this shows the benefit of staying for a long time.
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The second example is weak because a news article is not explained enough. Give a simple, direct example: changing jobs may bring better pay, new skills, or a higher role.
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Your conclusion adds a new point: a career may become stagnant. This is a useful idea, but it should be developed in the main body before the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 6. Keep one main idea in each body paragraph. In paragraph one, focus on skills, work quality, and job satisfaction. In paragraph two, focus on new skills, better pay, and career growth.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are not natural. For example, “jumping among the jobs” can be changed to “changing jobs often.” Use simple links such as “First,” “Also,” “However,” and “For example.”
coherence and cohesion
Make the point, explain it, then give an example. This will make each paragraph easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction should state both benefits more directly. For example: staying in one job can build deep skills, while changing jobs can give new chances and better pay.
task response
You discuss both views and give one good point for each side.
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You use examples to support your ideas, such as the company survey and the news report.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words such as “On the flip side” and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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