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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the chart below shows the percentage of adults of different age groups in the uk who used the internet everyday from 2003 to 2006

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The bar chart gives information about the rate of individuals from different
age
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groups
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 in the UK who used the internet each day between 2003 and 2006. It is clearly seen that users who were between 16
-
Correct word choice
and
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24
ages
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years old
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 had the highest proportion during the years shown, but users who
65+
Verb problem
were 65+
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ages
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years old
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 had the lowest proportion. Meanwhile, there was a slight growth in all
age
Use synonyms
groups
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 in the final year of the
all
Correct word choice
entire
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 period. In 2003 and 2004, the figure for individuals from all
age
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groups
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 who used the internet significantly increased, with the exception of the 16-24
age
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 group
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 remained at 80.
However
Linking Words
, the proportion of 25-44,45-54 and 55-64
age
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groups
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 stood at 78, 60, 40 in 2005,
but they
Correct word choice
apply
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rose significantly to 80, 70, 55 in 2006.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the number of
16-24 and 65+ ages adults
Correct word order
adults aged 16- 24 and 65+
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 witnessed a minimal decrease from 90 and 20 in 2005 to 85 and 18
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
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in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 2006.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, groups with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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