IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows men and women in different age groups who did no exercise in 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and lake comparisons where relevant.

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The bar chart compares the proportion of males and females in different
age
Use synonyms
 groups who did no exercise in 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the proportion of both
men
Use synonyms
 and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
women
Use synonyms
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 progressively as they get older. Meanwhile,
women
Use synonyms
 were the most popular for not doing exercises among all ages,
while
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 recorded
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
show examples
 figure compared to females.
Proportion
Correct article usage
The proportion
show examples
 of people
at the
Correct word choice
aged
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 of 18-24 recorded the most significant difference compared to other
age
Use synonyms
 groups
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 just more than 10% to
men
Use synonyms
 and about 18% to
women
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the percentage of
indivisuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 at the
age
Use synonyms
 of 35-44 showed a slight difference between the two genders
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 approximately 32% to
men
Use synonyms
 and 38% to
women
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the rates of people who exceeded 55 years illustrate an average of 40% to both males and females.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the community in the
age
Use synonyms
 of 23-34 and 45-54 represent similar pattern for about 5% difference.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, men, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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