IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

n today’s job market it is far more important to have practical skills than theoretical knowledge. In the future, job applicants may not need any formal qualifications. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
The job market is facing a significant transformation in terms of the increasing importance of application
skills
Use synonyms
, with little focus on academic knowledge. An argument states that in the upcoming decades, job candidates may not require academic certifications. From my perspective, I agree to a large extent with the presented opinion.
Body paragraph 1
Initially
Linking Words
, the majority of technical and software work these days only requires consistent practice, which effectively means
having
Correct word choice
that having
show examples
 a qualification is no longer sufficient to get good opportunities.
In addition
Linking Words
, a large proportion of entrepreneurs in the technology and financial
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
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 only have a high school degree; they only figured out which field suited them and started improving their practical
skills
Use synonyms
 in that specific
thing
Use the right word
field
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. A clear example of
this
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 can be seen in California, where major FinTech founders developed advanced algorithms from
self directed
Correct your spelling
self-directed
 learning.
Body paragraph 2
Furthermore
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, many workers in diverse fields,
such
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 as private equity and sales trading, do not have a finance or business background, primarily because they focused on practical
skills
Use synonyms
 like modelling and DCF analysis.
Therefore
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, distinct investment firms recruited them, regardless of their third-level degree.
Moreover
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, networking plays a crucial role in getting unique offers; if an employee in the firm knows that a specific person has valuable
skills
Use synonyms
, he will mostly suggest to the department to employ him.
Conclusion
In conclusion, having the
skills
Use synonyms
 to perform on a high standard and generate revenue
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the company is largely essential and more important than holding a degree. Which is why I firmly believe that job applicants in the future will not need to have any qualifications

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task response
You give a clear view and keep it from start to end. However, the question says “may not need any formal qualifications”, which is a very strong claim. Explain more clearly why some jobs will still need formal study, such as medicine, law, and teaching. This will make your view more balanced and convincing.
task response
Your main ideas are useful: practice, work skills, and networking. Develop each one with a fuller explanation of how it helps a person get a job. Some examples are too broad. For example, the point about FinTech founders in California needs a more direct link to the main claim.
task response
Be careful with claims such as “the majority” and “a large proportion”. These are very wide claims and are not clearly shown. Use softer words such as “many” or “in some jobs”, or give a clear, real example.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear shape: introduction, two main parts, and conclusion. Keep this strong plan. In each main part, begin with one clear main idea, explain it, and then give one example that directly supports it.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas are not fully clear. For example, the move from practical skills to entrepreneurs, and then to California, is too quick. Add short links such as “This shows why employers may value proof of skill over a degree.”
coherence and cohesion
Use pronouns more clearly. In the last main part, “he” and “him” are not needed and can sound unclear. Write “the employee may tell the hiring team about that person” instead.
coherence and cohesion
The last line repeats the idea well, but it is too absolute. A clearer ending would say that formal qualifications may become less important in many fields, while they will still matter in jobs that need special training.
task response
You answer the question directly and state your view clearly in both the introduction and the ending.
task response
You use job-related examples, such as software work, finance, and investment firms, which keep the essay focused on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your four-part structure is easy to follow, and the two main parts each have a clear central idea.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “Initially”, “Furthermore”, “Moreover”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow the order of your ideas.
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