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Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.) Describe the information presented below, comparing results for men and women in the categories shown. Suggest reasons for what you see.

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The bar chart compares the average
hours
Use synonyms
 of unpaid
work
Use synonyms
 per week done by different categories of people, sorted by gender and number of
children
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can notice that married
women
Use synonyms
 do more unpaid
work
Use synonyms
 compared to
men
Use synonyms
, especially as the number of
children
Use synonyms
 that they have rises,
while
Linking Words
 for males they go down. Those without
children
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 the least unpaid
hours
Use synonyms
, with 30
hours
Use synonyms
 by
women
Use synonyms
 and 18
hours
Use synonyms
 by
men
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, we can see a rise in
hours
Use synonyms
 for
women
Use synonyms
 with
children
Use synonyms
, exceeding 50
hours
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 for those with 1-2 and 3+
children
Use synonyms
.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 fewer unpaid
hours
Use synonyms
 per week the more
children
Use synonyms
 they have, dropping to 17 for those with 1-2
children
Use synonyms
 and to 16 for those with more than 3. Turning to
overall
Linking Words
 unpaid
hours
Use synonyms
 per week, we can see that
men
Use synonyms
 average 17,
while
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 average more than twice the amount, at a staggering 48.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, work, children, women, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rises" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • diagram
  • unpaid work
  • categories
  • average hours
  • men
  • women
  • comparison
  • overview
  • highest
  • differences
  • reasons
  • childcare
  • housework
  • gardening
  • gender roles
  • societal expectations
  • cultural norms
  • work-life balance
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