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Writing Samples
Band 7

select the figure to report the chart shows the number of people leaving and unemployment in Ireland and the percentage of unemloyment in IREland

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The line graph indicates the changes in Ireland’s
unemployment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 and the number of
people
Use synonyms
 leaving the country
within
Change preposition
over the past
show examples
 20 years. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is relatively apparent that the
unemployment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 declined dramatically over the period, despite some fluctuations in the early years,
whereas
Linking Words
 the number of
people
Use synonyms
 emigrating from Ireland fell significantly in the preliminary stage,
then
Linking Words
 underwent a substantial rise. In 1988, the
unemployment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 constituted about 17%, the highest figure recorded.
Then
Linking Words
 it fell to approximately 13% in 1990, before rising moderately to 15% in 1992.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
unemployment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 had
experienced a plateau
Verb problem
plateaued
show examples
 by 2000.
In addition
Linking Words
, it levelled off until 2006,
while
Linking Words
 the
rate
Use synonyms
 edged up moderately to 6%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period. Looking at the details, a broadly similar pattern can be observed in emigration. Around 60000
people
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 left Ireland in 1988,
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 the figure decreased sharply to about 35,000 in 1992.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, emigration continued to decline, reaching a low of 25000 in 2002.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 downward trend reversed, with the number of
people
Use synonyms
 leaving Ireland rising steadily to 50000
till
Change preposition
by
show examples
 2000.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words unemployment, rate, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moderately" was used 2 times.
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