IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many places, large chain stores are taking over the marketplace, making it impossible for small businesses to compete with them. what are the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

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Introduction
The topic of the
competion
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competition
 between large
chain
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stores
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 taking over the marketplace has sparked
consideration
Correct determiner usage
a
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 debate in recent years.Some people believe that
this
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 situation has
sevsral
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several
benefits
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 that will affect consumers,
while
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 others believe that its drawbacks exceed its
benefits
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 .
This
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 essay
wiill
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will
 explore the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 situation.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand ,the major benefit of large
chain
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stores
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 is lower
prices
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 .
For example
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,
thay
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they
 can offer
products
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 at
cheaper
Correct word choice
lower
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prices
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 because
theyy
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they
 buy goods in large quantities .
This
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 allows
costomers
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customers
 to save money and purchase essential
products
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 more easily .
Furthermore
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,they provide customers with a wider range of
products
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.
For instance
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,large
stores
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 usually sell different brands and
products
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 in one place ,which makes shopping more convenient for people.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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 ,despite having several
benefits
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 of large
chain
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stores
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 ,there are many drawbacks as well.First , small
businsses
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businesses
 may be forced to close.
For instance
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 ,they cannot offer similar
prices
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.
In addition
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 ,
this
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 can reduce competition in the marketplace .
As a result
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 ,customers may have fewer choices ,
while
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 large companies may gain excessive control over the market.
Conclusion
To sum up
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 ,
while
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 large
chain
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stores
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 and their lower
prices
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 offer significant
benefits
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of
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in
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 the situation ,it is important to acknowledge the drawbacks
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such
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, such
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 as the closure of small businesses and reduced competition .
Overall
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,I believe that
although
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 large
stores
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 provide convenience and affordable
prices
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 ,their negative impact on small businesses should not be ignored.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You give clear good and bad points, but explain more about how small shops closing can affect jobs, local areas, and choice.
task response
Make your own view clearer. Your last part says the bad effects should not be ignored, but it does not fully say if the good or bad side is stronger.
task response
Use more real and clear examples. For example, explain how a local food shop may close when a big store sells the same food for less money.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: an opening, good points, bad points, and an end. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with a wider range of simple words, such as “because of this”, “however”, “also”, and “in this way”. Do not use “for example” too often.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main point flow into the next one. After lower prices, explain that these low prices can hurt small shops before you move to the next paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Check spelling and spacing, as these can make the writing less easy to read. For example: “competition”, “several”, “they”, “customers”, and “businesses”.
task response
You cover both the good and bad sides of large chain stores, and your ideas stay on the topic.
task response
Your points about low prices, more products, small shop closures, and less choice are clear and useful.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea, so the reader can follow your writing easily.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear signposts such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “To sum up”.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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