IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

some people believe government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider reoads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and giver your opinion.

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Introduction
Trafficgam is a common issue that
faced many cities
Correct word order
many cities face
show examples
. Some people suggest having more
metrostations
Correct your spelling
metro stations
 will solve
this
Linking Words
 problem ;
on the other hand
Linking Words
, a large group
belive
Correct your spelling
believes
 that expanding the
roads
Use synonyms
 is the best way to get over
this
Linking Words
 challenge.
This
Linking Words
 essay discusse poth point of
viwe
Correct your spelling
view
besides
Linking Words
 my own opinion about traffic congestion.
Body paragraph 1
Some individuals
belives
Correct your spelling
believe
 that constructing new
subways
Check wording
subway
show examples
 lines helps the government to overcome busy
roads
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
bulding
Correct your spelling
building
 an underground
metros
Fix the agreement mistake
metro
show examples
 will serve huge numbers and encourage citizens to use
them
Fix the agreement mistake
it
show examples
 rather than using their own cars.
As a result
Linking Words
, the mess on the
roads
Use synonyms
 will decline.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some see
having
Correct word choice
that having
show examples
 wider
roads
Use synonyms
 will solve
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Becasue
Correct your spelling
Because
 bigger ways
means
Correct subject-verb agreement
mean
show examples
 more
vichales
Correct your spelling
vehicles
 can excist on the same time
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 without any distraction
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
road
Check wording
apply
show examples
flow
.
Change preposition
of traffic.
show examples
Conclusion
Inconclosion
Correct your spelling
In conclusion
,
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
 have different
soloution
Correct your spelling
solutions
 to
reduse
Correct your spelling
reduce
 traffic
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
bulding
Correct your spelling
building
 more metros and train stations or expanding the
roeads
Correct your spelling
roads
. Personally, the use of public transportation
such
Linking Words
 as buses, metro and trains will solve
this
Linking Words
 challenge.

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task response
You discuss both ideas and give your own view, which is good. However, each main idea needs more detail. Explain why trains can carry many people, and why wider roads may help only for a short time.
task response
Your opinion is clear at the end, but state it more clearly in the first paragraph too. Then explain why public transport is better than wider roads.
task response
Use a more real example. For example, say that a new train line can take many car users off busy city roads each day.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an ending. Keep one main idea in each body paragraph and add a second sentence to explain it.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words more carefully: “On the one hand”, “For example”, “As a result”, and “However”. Do not put a space before a semicolon.
coherence and cohesion
Make your sentences easier to follow. For example: “Wider roads allow more cars to use the road at the same time. This may reduce traffic for a short period.”
coherence and cohesion
Check key words and spelling, as errors can make the meaning less clear. For example: “traffic jam”, “metro stations”, “believe”, “vehicles”, “conclusion”, and “roads”.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you discuss train and subway lines, wider roads, and your own opinion.
task response
The idea that public transport can move many people and reduce car use is relevant and useful.
coherence and cohesion
The order of your ideas is easy to see: introduction, one view, the other view, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful links, such as “For example”, “As a result”, and “On the other hand”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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