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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows the average monthly electricity consumption in kilowatt-hours (kWh) by different household appliances during January and July. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar chart below shows the average monthly electricity consumption in kilowatt-hours (kWh) by different household appliances during January and July. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
bar
Correct article usage
The bar
show examples
 chart illustrates
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 monthly
in Five
Change preposition
apply
show examples
household
Use synonyms
electricity
Use synonyms
 use in Kilowatt-hours during two
Period time
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
 (
January
Use synonyms
 - July ).
Overall
Linking Words
, in both
months
Punctuation problem
months,
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 Heating/AC recorded the highest Figure,
while
Linking Words
 Lighting in
January
Use synonyms
 and Entertainment in
January
Use synonyms
 had the lowest. In
January
Use synonyms
, Heating/AC
recoreded
Correct your spelling
recorded
 the highest average of
household
Use synonyms
electricity
Use synonyms
around
Change preposition
at around
show examples
 450
kWh
Use synonyms
. Followed by, Water Heater was reached under 150
kWh
Use synonyms
. The average
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
household
Use synonyms
electricity
Use synonyms
in
Check wording
consumption in
show examples
Kitchen
Correct article usage
the kitchen
show examples
 was higher than that of Lighting around 20
kWh
Use synonyms
. Entertainment showed the lowest figure. In July, Heating/AC experienced the highest number of
household
Use synonyms
electricity
Use synonyms
 less than 400
kWh
Use synonyms
.
Change preposition
of household electricity.
show examples
 Kitchen and Water Heater occured the average of
household
Use synonyms
electricity
Use synonyms
 with the rates of 110
kWh
Use synonyms
 and 90
kWh
Use synonyms
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
. The less
populer
Correct your spelling
popular
 was used Lighting less than 100
kWh
Use synonyms
.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words household, electricity, january, kwh with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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