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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie charts show information about energy production in a country in two separate years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, by make comparisons where relevant.

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The pie charts show information about energy production in a country in two separate years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, by make comparisons where relevant.
The pie chart presents the percentage of
enery
Correct your spelling
energy
 production in a country in 1995 and 2005. In
conclude
Replace the word
conclusion
, the percentage of using Petro was declining
while
Linking Words
 the Nuclear and other
energy
Use synonyms
 increased a lot, which showed that the country was trying to use low-carbon
energy
Use synonyms
 to replace Petro. In 1995,
there were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
about 29.27% of
Petro
Correct determiner usage
the petroleum
show examples
 was produced, and it
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
decreased to 19.55% in 2005.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
in contrast
Linking Words
, the production of Nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
 had grown from 6.40% to 10.10%.
Linking Words
Also
Punctuation problem
Also,
show examples
 for the other
energy
Use synonyms
 raised from 4.9% to 9.10%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, even the production of high-carbon
energy
Use synonyms
 like Gas and Coal
energy
Use synonyms
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 increased.
However
Linking Words
, the increased rate was
overall
Linking Words
 lower than the Nuclear and other, which only
raised
Verb problem
rose
show examples
 from 29.63% to 30.31%
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
another
Correct determiner usage
other
show examples
 from 29.90% to 30.93%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • percentage
  • increase
  • decrease
  • production
  • energy source
  • fossil fuels
  • renewable energy
  • non-renewable energy
  • comparison
  • major/minor changes
  • phased out
  • introduced
  • contribution
  • total energy output
  • environmental impact
  • economic impact
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