According to those in travel business, the nature of every native holiday in changing. Rather than have a relaxing break, people want to challenge themselves to do adventure on their holidays. Do you agree or disagree ?

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Introduction
Some people
belive
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believe
that
traveling
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travelling to
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other countries will be for
relax
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relaxation
and enjoy
thier
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their
time in calm vibes ,
while
Linking Words
other wants to step out of
thier
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their
comfort zone and
challange themeself
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challenge themselves
with
differante
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different
activities.
Body paragraph 1
In my opinion , that
relats
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relates
to the individual personality and what they are facing in life.
Body paragraph 2
If
im
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I'm
working
entire
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the entire
show examples
year
round
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round,
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I would want to enjoy a calm vacation and relax my
nervouse
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nervous
system away from
busy
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a busy
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city and multiple
project
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projects
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and deadlines
Body paragraph 3
On the other hand
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, if Im shy person and my days
seams
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seem
show examples
the same over and over , I would love to change
in
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it in
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my own free
time
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time,
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also
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discover what the country is like and meet new people from other
culture
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cultures
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doing so.
Conclusion
In
conclousion
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conclusion
, that
relate
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relates
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to
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a person
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person personal intrest
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person's personal interest;
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Linking Words
moreover
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moreover,
show examples
it can be both
but
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, but
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the
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apply
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social media
encourge
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encourages
people to do
activities more
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more activities
show examples
.

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task response
Give a clear answer in the first paragraph: say if you agree, disagree, or agree only in part. Your essay says it depends on the person, but it does not clearly answer the main idea about a change in holidays.
task response
Explain your main points more. For example, say why work stress makes people choose quiet trips, and why some people choose hard or new activities.
task response
Use clear, real examples. You could mention a beach stay after a busy year, or hiking and meeting people on a trip abroad.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main paragraphs, and an end. Make the link between them stronger with simple words such as “First”, “However”, “For example”, and “Therefore”.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one idea. The first body paragraph can be about calm holidays; the second can be about adventure holidays.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last paragraph restate your answer more clearly. Do not add a new main point about social media there unless you explain it in a body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use full sentences and clear subjects. For example, write “This depends on a person’s interests” instead of “that relate to person personal intrest”.
task response
You discuss both calm holidays and more active holidays, so your ideas are linked to the topic.
task response
Your personal examples help the reader understand why different people may want different kinds of trips.
coherence and cohesion
You use a simple essay shape with an opening, two sides of the idea, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
“On the other hand” is used well to show a change to the other view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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