Some people argue that individuals should take responsibility for their own health and wellbeing, while others believe it's the government's duty to provide healthcare services to everyone in society. Discuss both these views and provide your own opinion. Support your answer with relevant examples and explanations?

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Introduction

Many

individuals

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have different opinions about whether

people

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should take care of their own

health

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or it is the ultimate duty of the official authorities to provide healthcare services for the betterment of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both views

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apply

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and present my own opinion

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apply

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because I believe that the

government

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apply

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and

individuals

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should contribute mutually to ensure the well-being of citizens.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand,

Individuals

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today are more aware of their own

health

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People

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can maintain their physical and mental

health

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by getting involved in daily workouts, eating nutritious meals, or participating in outdoor activities.

Such

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habits are not only beneficial for their

health

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, but

also

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help them stay connected to nature

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apply

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when they visit parks or open spaces. Apart from that, fast

food

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has become

the

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show examples

part of modern lifestyle. If

individuals

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avoid the consumption of sugar-based drinks

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apply

show examples

and fast

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food

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food,

show examples

then

Linking Words

they can reduce the risk of

overweight

Verb problem

being overweight

show examples

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apply

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and

preventing

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prevent

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other lifestyle diseases.

This

Linking Words

type of healthy routine helps them to release stress

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apply

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and make them more energetic as well.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

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, the

government

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has far more power and resources than

individuals

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. They can easily regulate the laws or even ban the selling of packaged

food

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if they pose any threat to

the

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apply

show examples

public

health

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Also

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, advertisements, social media campaigns, and public awareness programs

helps

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help

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to educate the public towards the serious consequences of over-consuming

such

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unhealthy

food

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items.

Moreover

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, official authorities can convert the vacant areas into public parks, where

people

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can perform various activities

such

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as yoga, running, and

walk

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walking

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with their loved ones.

This

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not only promotes holistic growth but

also

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give

Correct subject-verb agreement

gives

show examples

them the opportunity to spend quality time together.

Conclusion

In conclusion, both

individuals

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and the

government

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play an essential role in maintaining public

health

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While

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people

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can adopt healthy habits and make responsible lifestyle choices,

government

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support through regulations, awareness campaigns, and public facilities is equally important.

Therefore

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, a combined effort from both sides is the most effective way to ensure a healthier and more progressive society.

kaurjagdeep2097

Sep 13, 2026

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task response

You discuss both sides and give a clear view. However, the health care side is too narrow. Talk more about hospitals, doctors, low-cost care, and help for poor or old people. This will answer the full question more clearly.

task response

Your main ideas are clear, but some points need more support. For example, explain how free or low-cost health care can save lives when a person has a serious illness or cannot pay.

task response

Use one or two real-life examples. For instance, you could say that a public hospital can treat a child from a poor family, while the family should still give the child good food and daily exercise.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear order: introduction, one view, the other view, and conclusion. Keep this strong plan.

coherence and cohesion

Make the link between your points clearer. In the first body part, healthy food and exercise are good examples of personal duty. In the second body part, move from food rules to health care services, such as hospitals and doctors, so the paragraph stays close to the main topic.

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences are long and have too many ideas. Use shorter sentences to make your meaning easier to follow. For example: “The government can run public health campaigns. These campaigns can warn people about the risks of too much sugar and fast food.”

coherence and cohesion

Check small grammar points that can affect flow: use “help” after “campaigns and programs”; write “part of a modern lifestyle”; write “prevent other diseases”; and use “gives” with “This”.

task response

Your opinion is clear: both people and the government should work together to protect health.

task response

You give useful personal health ideas, such as exercise, healthy meals, and less fast food.

coherence and cohesion

Each body paragraph has one main focus, and the conclusion brings both views together well.

coherence and cohesion

You use clear linking words, such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “Moreover”, and “Therefore”.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

340 words

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