IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently stayed at a hotel during your vacation, but the accommodation was unsatisfactory. Write a letter to the hotel manager. In your letter: describe the problems you faced during your stay explain how these issues affected your holiday state what you would like the manager to do

5.0 / 9
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to report a persistent noise problem caused by
Air Conditioner
Correct determiner usage
the air conditioner
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 during my stay, which made
a worst
Correct determiner usage
my
show examples
 vacation experience
in
Change preposition
at
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 your hotel
.
Correct word choice
worse.
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 I have booked
deluxe
Correct article usage
a deluxe
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 room 502
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 on Tuesday
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
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 your hotel. During my stay, I have faced
issue
Check wording
issues
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 with the air conditioner installed in the room. It was making noise continuously. I have asked the receptionist to change the room, but she
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 told me about the
unavailablity
Correct your spelling
unavailability
 of other rooms.
Due to
Linking Words
 that, I had to stay in the same property. They have changed the batteries, but the problem keeps recurring.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the excessive noise
was
Verb problem
apply
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affected the quality of my sleep at night.
As a result
Linking Words
, I have missed my
next day
Correct your spelling
next-day
 bus, which was booked in advance. I had to arrange another transportation at
very
Correct article usage
a very
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 high price, which ruined my holiday expenses. It would be appreciated if you could look into
this
Linking Words
 matter. I hope you will address
this
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 issue and refund my tariff amount as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
compensation for the inconvenience caused by your hotel. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your response. Yours faithfully, Jonathan Smith

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task response
You cover all three parts: the problem, its effect on your trip, and what you want the manager to do. Add key facts such as the stay dates and how much money you paid to make the request stronger.
task response
Make your request more clear. Say if you want all your money back or only part of it, and explain why this would be fair.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear order: problem, effect, and request. Use simpler links, such as “Because of this” and “As a result”, to show the cause and effect more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the time forms the same when you write about the past. For example, use “the receptionist told me” and “the problem kept coming back”.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because of word form errors. For example, write “The noise affected my sleep” instead of “the excessive noise was affected the quality of my sleep”.
task response
You give a clear main problem: the air conditioner made noise all the time, and you explain that staff could not move you to another room.
task response
You explain a real effect on your trip: you missed a bus and had to pay more for other travel.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one clear job, so the reader can follow your letter easily.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting, polite closing, and request for a reply are suitable for a letter to a hotel manager.
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