IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently sent some documents by post, but they did not arrive at the destination. Write a letter to the post office manager. In your letter: * Give details of the situation. * Describe the documents. * Say what action you want the post office to take.

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Dear Sir, I am writing
this
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 letter to complain that my document did not reach the destination, which I posted recently.
Last
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 month,
my result of
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the results of my
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 final year
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 released. There was a spelling mistake
of
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in
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 my name
in
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on
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 the certificate. So, I contacted a
university
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’s official number, and they told me to send my certificate to the
university
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 for correction of my name’s spelling.
Therefore
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, I posted it
last
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 week through our local post office. The certificate is of final year of
BSc
Correct article usage
the BSc
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 Nursing. It is very important for me, because I need to show it in my documents
,
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apply
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 whenever I
will
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apply
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apply for a job as a staff nurse in any hospital.
Along with
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this
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, name correction was very necessary;
otherwise
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, it could create a cumbersome situation for me.
Although
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 I tried to track it with the help of a tracking number, it was ineffective. I am very apprehensive, it might get lost on the way, because it should reach the
university
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 within two to three days.
However
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, I did not receive any notification from my
university
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. Please try to locate where it is exactly
?
Change the punctuation
.
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Also
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, please make sure that it arrives at the
university
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. I would be grateful for your help. Yours
Sincerely
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sincerely
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, Rosh.

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task response
Give more key facts, such as the date you sent it, the post office name, the address, and the tracking number. This will make your request clearer.
task response
State what you want the manager to do in a more direct way. For example, ask them to find the item, tell you its place, and contact you soon.
task response
Use a more formal style. Avoid short forms such as “it’s”, and use “it is” instead.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear start, main part, and end. Make the order even clearer: first say when and where you sent it, then describe the document, and finally give your request.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph on one main point. The last long paragraph can be split into one paragraph about tracking and one paragraph about what action you need.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links between ideas, such as “As a result”, “In addition”, and “For this reason”.
task response
You explain why the document is important and why the name change is needed.
task response
You clearly ask the post office to find the document and make sure it reaches the university.
coherence and cohesion
The letter uses suitable paragraphs and ends with a polite closing.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas mostly follow a clear time order: the result came out, you sent the certificate, and then you tried to track it.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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