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Band 6

The first chart below shows the percentage of school-aged girls and boys who were at secondary school in four regions of the world in 2000. The second chart shows the percentages of college-aged men and women in higher education in the same year.

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The first chart below shows the percentage of school-aged girls and boys who were at secondary school in four regions of the world in 2000. The second chart shows the percentages of college-aged men and women in higher education in the same year.
The first and second bar charts illustrate the proportion of women and
men
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 are
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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 in higher
education
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 and lower
education
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 across 4 regions.
Overall
Linking Words
, Europe had the largest percentage of
population
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 in both
educations
Check wording
education
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. Higher
education
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 accounted for
the
Correct word order
a lower proportion of the population
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population
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 lower than secondary
education
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. Higher
education
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Europe
Change preposition
in Europe
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 outstanding the other regions
for
Change preposition
, with
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 the
population
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 which had for
men
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 and women 60% and 70%, respectively.
Use synonyms
men
Capitalize the word
Men
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 are higher in the
population
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 than women among the three
regions remaining
Correct word order
remaining regions
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, and
Sahran
Correct your spelling
Saharan
 Africa had the lowest
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of
population
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with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 around 5% for both genders. Secondary
education
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, Europe still had the largest
population
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same
Punctuation problem
, same
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 as higher eduaction with a
bit
Correct word choice
slight
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 increase
by
Change preposition
of
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 almost 30%. Latin America and East Asia
are having
Wrong verb form
have
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 almost the same
population
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with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 approximately 60%. The smallest
population
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 still is
Sahran
Correct your spelling
Saharan
 Africa, and compared with Higher
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education
Punctuation problem
education,
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 there is an almost 15% increase for
the female
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females
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, and around 25% increase for
men
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, education, population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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