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Band 4.5

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph demonstrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of employees in four industries in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, job numbers in retail and healthcare increased
while
Linking Words
 they decreased in agriculture and in manufacturing during the period. In detail, jobs in healthcare, the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of four parts in 1960, surged from less than 3
million
Use synonyms
 to over 15
million
Use synonyms
 in 2020, which was one of the highest numbers in the four sectors.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the employment in manufacturing in 2016, the highest
number
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 compared with other domains, increased slowly to reach its peak
number
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 of 20
million
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 in 1980 and fell gradually to lower than 15
million
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 in 2020. Jobs in retail and in the agriculture field were both just over 5
million
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 in 1960. But their trends were totally different after that year. The statistics data in retail rocketed all the way to over 15
million
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 in 2020.
Instead
Linking Words
 of growth, the data in agriculture dropped gradually to approximately 2.5 to 3
million
Use synonyms
 in 1980 , and the
number
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 remained stable until 2020.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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