Some educationalists argue that non-exam, arts-based subjects, such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary-school curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction

Nowadays, many people believe that

arts

Use synonyms

-based

subjects

Use synonyms

like music, drama and craft should be compulsory in secondary schools. They believe these

subjects

Use synonyms

can improve

overall

Linking Words

academic results. In my opinion, I partly agree with

this

Linking Words

view because

while

Linking Words

learning the

arts

Use synonyms

brings many benefits, making them mandatory can cause some difficulties for students and families.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand, learning the

arts

Use synonyms

helps learners develop many essential skills for their studies.

Firstly

Linking Words

, music and drama teach children social communication and teamwork skills through group performances.

This

Linking Words

helps them work in groups better than when they study main

subjects

Use synonyms

like science or history.

Secondly

Linking Words

, craft

subjects

Use synonyms

help improve concentration and patience because making handmade items requires long hours of focus. These activities

also

Linking Words

allow teenagers to relieve stress after hard study hours. It helps improve their

overall

Linking Words

academic results.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

Linking Words

, making art

subjects

Use synonyms

compulsory for all students may be unrealistic.

Firstly

Linking Words

, art requires natural talent and personal interest. Forcing children without skills to study these

subjects

Use synonyms

can make them feel stressed

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

and lose focus on the main curriculum.

Secondly

Linking Words

, learning music or

craft

Correct article usage

a craft

show examples

often requires buying expensive instruments, learning tools, and art materials.

This

Linking Words

creates a heavy financial burden for many low-income families who cannot afford extra school expenses.

Conclusion

In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

studying the

arts

Use synonyms

brings quite clear benefits

such

Linking Words

as social communication, teamwork practice, and patience, I believe schools should not make these

subjects

Use synonyms

compulsory.

Instead

Linking Words

arts

Use synonyms

should be optional activities so students can choose based on their talent and family situation.

mbinh202

Sep 25, 2026

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task response

Your view is clear: you partly agree, but you say arts should not be a must. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why arts may help school work. For example, say how music can help memory, or how drama can help speaking and reading.

task response

The question asks about better school results. Your first main point talks about team work, talking with others, patience, and less stress. These are useful, but you need to link each one more clearly to better results in school.

task response

Add one clear example from your own life, school, or a known case. For example, you could describe a student who joined drama and then felt more able to speak in class and do well in oral work.

task response

Be careful with the point about natural talent. A child does not need to be very good at art to get some good from it. You could say that making all arts classes a must may not suit all students, rather than saying it needs natural talent.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, one side, the other side, and ending. Keep this clear plan in future writing.

coherence and cohesion

Use clearer links between an idea and its result. For example: “As a result, students may feel less stress and can focus better in other classes.” This makes the path of your idea easier to follow.

coherence and cohesion

In the first body part, change “It helps improve their overall academic results” to “These skills can help improve their overall academic results.” The word “These” clearly shows what the sentence refers to.

coherence and cohesion

Try to give one main idea, then explain it, then give an example before moving to the next idea. This will make each part feel more complete and easy to follow.

task response

You answer all parts of the question and give a clear final view. Your reasons about student stress and family cost are on topic.

task response

You give both the good side of arts and the problems of making them a must. This makes your answer fair and balanced.

coherence and cohesion

Each body part has a clear main idea, and words such as “Firstly”, “Secondly”, “On the one hand”, and “On the other hand” help the reader follow your plan.

coherence and cohesion

Your ending matches your main view and gives a clear idea for schools: let students choose arts based on their needs.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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