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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the oil production and consumption in China between 1982 and 2006. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The line graph below shows the oil production and consumption in China between 1982 and 2006. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph provides key information about the
china
Fix capitalization
Chinese
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oil
Use synonyms
 production and
consumption
Use synonyms
years
Check wording
apply
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from 1982 to 2006. The units are measured in millions of
oil
Use synonyms
 barrels per day.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that there
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 a rapid increase in
oil
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
over
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 the
last
Linking Words
 decade.
In addition
Linking Words
, the slow and constant rate
in producing
Change preposition
of
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oil
Use synonyms
over
Check wording
production over
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 these years
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is not equal
with
Change preposition
to
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 the sudden rise in
consuming the
Replace the word
apply
oil
Use synonyms
.
Check wording
consumption.
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According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, the
consumption
Use synonyms
 pattern was steady from 1982 to 1990,
then
Linking Words
 it
is start
Wrong verb form
started
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 to see the first jump rising from the year 1990 to 1994.
Whoever
Change preposition
During
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 the years from 1994 to
1998
Punctuation problem
1998,
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 the increse start to slow
,
Add a semicolon
;
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 after that
Punctuation problem
, form
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form the year
Change preposition
from
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 1998
and after
Correct word choice
onwards
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, there is a quick increase in
consumption
Use synonyms
. In terms of production, starting from the year
1982
Punctuation problem
1982,
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 there is an increase from 2 million barrels to 3 million barrels until 1986
after
Punctuation problem
. After
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 that
the
Punctuation problem
, the
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 rate
contine
Correct your spelling
continues
 to be constant until 1994. There is
slow
Add an article
a slow
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 rise from 1994 until 2006, but it is still very far
to be
Change preposition
from being
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 equalised
the
Change preposition
with the
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consump
Correct your spelling
consumption

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Vocabulary: Replace the words oil, consumption with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slow" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • oil production
  • oil consumption
  • gradual increase
  • surpass
  • overtake
  • reliance on imports
  • disparity
  • steady rise
  • growing gap
  • significant
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