IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The workplace is changing rapidly and many people can no longer rely on having one job there entire life. Describe the possible causes of this and suggest how this problem can be dealt with.

2.5 / 9
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Introduction
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it
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It
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 is clear that
technology
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 has become an
assential
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essential
 part of our lives over the past decade
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. Furthermore,
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furthermore
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 many young people often spend a significant amount of time on electronic devices
which
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, which
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 can have negative effects
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such
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, such
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 as poor reading and writing skills
Body paragraph 1
i
Capitalize the word
I
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 strongly agree with
this
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 statement
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however
Add a semicolon
; however
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using
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, using
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technology
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 mindfully and limiting screen time can
also
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binifit
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benefit
 young indivisuals
for
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example
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example,
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 young people can use
technology
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 to learn about subjects that
intrest
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interest
 them
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such
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, such
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 as new languages or
scintific
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scientific
 topics
Body paragraph 2
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although
Capitalize the word
Although
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 children are likely to spend hours playing games or scrolling through social media
excessive
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, excessive
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 use of these devices may negativaly effect their social lives and ability to concentrate
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. Instead, activities
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instead
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 activites
such
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 as reading books or solving
puzzels
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puzzles
 can encourage young people to develop better concentration and literacy skills
Conclusion
in
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In
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 conclusion i agree that excessive use of
technology
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affect
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affects
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 young
peoples
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people's
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 reading and writing skills
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Add a semicolon
; therefore
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therefore
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therefore,
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 children should
ise
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use
 digital devices in moderation and spend more time on productive activities
such
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 as reading.

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task response
Your essay answers a different topic. The question is about why people may not keep one job for life, and how this can be dealt with. Write about changes at work, new machines, job loss, and the need to learn new skills.
task response
Make sure each main part of the question has its own clear paragraph. Give causes in one body paragraph and ways to deal with them in the next.
task response
Use clear examples linked to work. For example, a worker can take a short course to learn how to use new tools, or a company can give staff training.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main paragraphs, and an ending. However, the ideas do not fit the given work topic, so the whole essay does not move towards the right answer.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words to show the order of your ideas: First, Also, However, For example, and As a result. This will make the cause and solution parts easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. Start each paragraph with a short topic sentence, then explain it and give one work-based example.
task response
You clearly give your view and include examples, such as learning new languages and reading books.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and the paragraphs are easy to see.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “for example”, “although”, “instead”, and “therefore” help connect some ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • evolution
  • automation
  • gig economy
  • freelancing
  • economic globalization
  • outsourcing
  • work-life balance
  • flexibility
  • job security
  • contract work
  • re-skilling
  • continuous learning
  • government policies
  • internal mobility
  • entrepreneurship
  • self-employment
What to do next:
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