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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing skill is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

3.5 / 9
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Introduction
It is argued that finishing university education is the best way to obtain a good
job
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 others prefer
acquire
Verb problem
to acquire
show examples
skills
Use synonyms
 and
experiences
Use synonyms
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
 more vital. From my perspective, practical
skills
Use synonyms
 are crucial for
job
Use synonyms
 opportunities
even
Punctuation problem
, even
show examples
 though academic education plays an important role.
Body paragraph 1
There are numerous reasons why completing
university
Add an article
a university
show examples
 education may
assist to
Verb problem
help
show examples
 get a good
job
Use synonyms
. The primary reason is that
international
Add an article
an international
show examples
 organization likely to hire
a strong background employee
Correct word order
an employee with a strong background
show examples
, so their first requirements are the certificates. Having completed
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
university, scholars could
maximize
Change the spelling
maximise
show examples
 their
chance
Check wording
chances
show examples
 to work in a foreign company.
As a result
Linking Words
, after graduation
Use synonyms
learners
Punctuation problem
, learners
show examples
 no
need
Rephrase
longer need
show examples
 to worries for their career.
For instance
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 a Bangladesh survey, almost 50% scholars are working in an international company after
being graduated
Wrong verb form
graduating
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, developing new
skills
Use synonyms
 not sorely aid for
job
Use synonyms
 opportunities, but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 assists
learners
Use synonyms
 to pursue their ambitions.
This
Linking Words
 is because by
accomplishing
Verb problem
acquiring
show examples
experiences
Use synonyms
 and new
skills
Use synonyms
,
learners
Use synonyms
 may
optimize
Change the spelling
optimise
show examples
 their chances
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 getting a
high salary
Replace the word
high-salaried
job
Use synonyms
. In some cases, employers require academic grades
Linking Words
such as IT related
Change preposition
in IT-related
show examples
 sectors, but most of the time employers hire
worker
Check wording
workers
show examples
 with
Use synonyms
experiences
Check wording
experience
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, by developing new
skills
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as communications,
….it
Punctuation problem
it
show examples
 can allow scholars to communicate with anyone without hesitation.
Conclusion
To sum up
Linking Words
, from my point of
view
Punctuation problem
view,
show examples
 I consider
learners
Use synonyms
 should obtain
experiences
Use synonyms
 and new
skills
Use synonyms
 for their destinations,
although
Linking Words
begin graduated
Wrong verb form
graduating
show examples
 may help them for better
job
Use synonyms
 opportunities.

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task response
Discuss both views in the same depth. The university side has one main reason, while the skills side has more points. Add a clear reason why a degree can lead to good work, such as job knowledge, training, and access to work with companies.
task response
Make your own view more exact. You say skills and work experience are more important, but explain when this is true and when a university degree is still needed. For example, a doctor or engineer may need a degree, while many other jobs value real work skills.
task response
Use examples that clearly prove your point. The Bangladesh study is too general and may not be true. Give a simple, direct example: a person with a degree but no work skills may lose a job to someone who can do the work well.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an ending. Make the links between ideas smoother by using clear words such as “First”, “For example”, “However”, “Also”, and “Therefore”.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. In the second body part, job skills, high pay, grades, work experience, and communication are all mixed together. Start with a topic sentence, explain one idea, and then give one example.
coherence and cohesion
Make the ending match your main view more clearly. State that both are useful, but that skills and experience are more important for many jobs because they show that a person can do the work.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid unclear or unfinished parts, such as “communications, …”. Complete every idea so the reader can follow your meaning easily.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give your own view from the start.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear overall shape: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful linking words, such as “On the other hand”, “Additionally”, and “To sum up”.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foundation
  • specialized skills
  • job market
  • minimum requirement
  • professional positions
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • analytical skills
  • job security
  • opportunities for advancement
  • networking opportunities
  • industry professionals
  • mentors
  • practical experience
  • soft skills
  • communication
  • teamwork
  • adaptability
  • real-world experience
  • competitive
  • entrepreneurs
  • academic credentials
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