IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You recently moved to a new neighbourhood, and you are facing difficulties with the public transportation system. Write a letter to your local council to express your concerns. In your letter • explain the issues you are experiencing with public transportation • describe how these problems are affecting your daily life • suggest possible improvements to the transportation system You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

4.5 / 9
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to draw your attention towards the difficulties faced by me with the public transportation system. I recently moved to
this
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 neighbourhood, and my home is
walking
Change preposition
within walking
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 distance
to
Change preposition
of
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 the railway station.
However
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, I am not able to catch the train on time,
this
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 is because
roads
Use synonyms
 are blocked and construction work is in progress, on the way to the railway station, making it difficult to reach my office on time.
Although
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 there is another route to reach the backyard of the train,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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it is too far and
stranious
Correct your spelling
strange
. I even tried to
reach
Verb problem
ride
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 faster
with
Change preposition
on
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 a bike, but met with an accident.
Furthermore
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, the
roads
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 area are underdeveloped
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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government
Add an article
the government
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 needs to develop more
roads
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 to prevent traffic congestion and health hazards. I
truely
Correct your spelling
truly
 believe that
,
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apply
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 they should invest in developing public
transporation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 connectivity and constructing more
roads
Use synonyms
. It would be a
relife
Correct your spelling
relief
,
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apply
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 if the work going on in my area can be completed as soon as possible. Thank you for your time
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 looking forward to your earliest response. Yours faithfully, Mike

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task response
You cover all the main points, but give clearer details. Say which bus or train service is late, how often it happens, and what change you want the council to make.
task response
Use a more formal tone. Do not write about your bike accident unless it is needed. Focus on the public transport problem and its effect on your work.
coherence and cohesion
Put each main point in its own paragraph: the problem, the effect on your life, and your ideas for change. This will make the letter easier to read.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long and joined with commas. Use full stops and clear link words such as “As a result”, “In addition”, and “Therefore”.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ideas more clear. For example, explain what “the backyard of the train” means, or change it to “the back entrance to the station”.
task response
You clearly say that road work and blocked roads stop you from getting to the station on time.
task response
You give useful ideas, such as finishing the work soon and improving public transport links.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear opening and a polite closing.
Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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