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Band 4.5

The charts beloow show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak othe languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The charts beloow show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak othe languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie chart provides information about British students able to speak
languages
Use synonyms
 other than English, between the period from 2000 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, there were some changes between 2000
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2010, but
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 were not significant.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
most higher
Replace the word
highest
language
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2010 is spanish, in 2000
was
Correct pronoun usage
it was
show examples
 30%
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 in 2010
rose
Correct pronoun usage
it rose
show examples
 to 35%. In 2000, the
higher
Correct word choice
most common
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 was
spanish
Capitalize the proper name
Spanish
show examples
,
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
followed by
show examples
 no other
language
Use synonyms
 is 20%,
while
Linking Words
french
Capitalize the proper name
French
show examples
 and another
language
Use synonyms
 have the same pricient is 15%, the
last
Linking Words
 two
languages
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 German and two other
languages
Use synonyms
 with 10%. In 2010, there were some changes, some
languages
Use synonyms
 rose 5% more,
like spanish
Correct word choice
as Spanish
show examples
 increased to 35%
Linking Words
also
Punctuation problem
, also
show examples
 other
language
Use synonyms
 jump to 20%,
while
Linking Words
 no other
language
Use synonyms
 fell to 10%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
french declied
Correct your spelling
French declined
 to 10%,
while
Linking Words
 German and learning two
languages
Use synonyms
 level off.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words languages, language with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • language
  • speak
  • speak another language
  • English
  • share
  • proportion
  • percent
  • rise
  • increase
  • fall
  • decrease
  • change
  • trend
  • overall
  • year
  • 2000
  • 2010
  • most common
  • least common
  • top language
  • variety
  • different
  • compare
  • in contrast
  • as well as
  • in addition
  • more
  • less
  • same
  • data
  • chart
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