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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph and the table show the number of trips to other countries by UK residents for various purposes between 1989 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The line graph and the table show the number of trips to other countries by UK residents for various purposes between 1989 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of journeys to other countries by people from the UK and the different
reasons
Use synonyms
 for visiting over the
period
Use synonyms
 of 12 years, starting in 1989.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there was an upward trend in holiday
reasons
Use synonyms
; Other
reasons
Use synonyms
 had a lower trend. The total
number
Use synonyms
 of visits gradually increased throughout the given
period
Use synonyms
. Looking at the details, the
number
Use synonyms
 of holiday trips represented the highest figure, starting at 30
million
Use synonyms
 in the first year. In 1998,
this
Linking Words
 category boosted dramatically, representing 50
million
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 plunged to approximately 38
million
Use synonyms
 by the final year.
Whereas
Linking Words
, all of remained
reasons
Use synonyms
 showed almost the same figure with about 8
million
Use synonyms
 , which was the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 in 1989.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the business showed some fluctuation, neverthelles it stayed the same
number
Use synonyms
 with 8
million
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the other purposes increased by about 2
million
Use synonyms
, it significantly decreased, accounting for approximately 1
million
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, the family visits boosted significantly throughout the noted
period
Use synonyms
, representing 12
million
Use synonyms
, which was a second place in the final year. Regarding
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the table, the total
number
Use synonyms
 of trips steady surge during the
period
Use synonyms
, reaching from 47 to 73.5
million
Use synonyms
 until 1998, before declining to 61
million
Use synonyms
 until 2001.
While
Linking Words
 the remaining years, in 1992 and 1995, represented 55.5 and 68
million
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, reasons, period, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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