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Band 6

he graph below shows the percentage of people in a European country reporting high levels of anxiety, by age group, from 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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he graph below shows the percentage of people in a European country reporting high levels of anxiety, by age group, from 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph provides
hey
Use the right word
the
show examples
 information about the percentage of people who are reporting high anxiety levels by different
age
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
groups, in the period between 2000 and 2020. The units are measured by percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the figure that
youngers
Check wording
young people
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 who are 16-24
years
Use synonyms
 old had the maximum percentage in recent
years
Use synonyms
. Older
who
Check wording
adults who
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 are more than 65
years
Use synonyms
 old had a slight
declined
Replace the word
decline
,
whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 adults
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
aged from 25 to 34 had been increasing gradually.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, from 2000 to 2020,
Use synonyms
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
16
Check wording
group 16
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-24 had
a
Correct article usage
an
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 up and down state over the
years
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
while in
Change preposition
While
show examples
 from 2000
t0
Correct your spelling
to
 2020,
group
Add an article
the group
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 25-34 had a steady increase, rising nearly from 10% to 19%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in 2005,
Use synonyms
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
 35-49 group declined
around
Change preposition
by around
show examples
 1%.
while
Linking Words
 in 2020, it had been rising approximately from 13% to 17%. In terms of older
, in
Check wording
people, in
show examples
 2005,
50
Check wording
those aged 50
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-64
years
Use synonyms
 old had
raised
Wrong verb form
risen
show examples
 slightly,
whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 between 2005
-
Correct word choice
and
show examples
2020, it had declined.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
65+
Add an article
the 65+
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 group had a slight decrease over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
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