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Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagrams give information about changes in a student accommodation. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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The diagrams give information about changes in a student accommodation. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The labelled layout of the
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 of the student had a
refereshing
Correct your spelling
refreshing
 development recently.
Comparing
Wrong verb form
Compared
show examples
 to the old layout
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was
last
Linking Words
 built in 2010, the current
sturcutre
Correct your spelling
structure
 has more functionality and effective space usage. In 2010, the student
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 was developed with a lot of common areas and
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 the space looks not as mordenized. The
surrounding
Check wording
surroundings
show examples
 of the building
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 full of grassy lands
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 the place
looks
Wrong verb form
look
show examples
 quite
unplesent
Correct your spelling
unpleasant
. But surprisingly, the great hallway is quite
elegent
Correct your spelling
elegant
 as it is very spacious. The latest upgraded layout is
refiend
Correct your spelling
refined
 by
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
organized
Change the spelling
organised
show examples
 room
coposition
Correct your spelling
composition
. Adding one more bedroom to the
last
Linking Words
 row of the structure and
redeveloped
Wrong verb form
redeveloping
show examples
 the standard bedroom
at the end
Linking Words
 of the hallway into
en-suite
Add an article
an en-suite
show examples
 style.
As an
Change preposition
In
show examples
 addition, the parking space has been defined
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the garden area beside the Hallway.
As
Change preposition
In
show examples
 my opinion, I think having an en-suite room
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 more choice and freedom to the students. Being able to reduce the time and usage of common areas will
also
Linking Words
 make the
tenents
Correct your spelling
tenants
 more
convinent
Correct your spelling
convenient
 to use them
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 their
choice of
Replace the word
chosen
 time.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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