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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below shows electricity production (in terawatt hours) in France between 1980 and 2012.

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The graph below shows electricity production (in terawatt hours) in France between 1980 and 2012.
The line graph compares the four main sources of
the
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electricity
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 production in France over a period of 32 years. It’s clear that nuclear
power
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 was the primary source of
the
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electricity
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 in France. Thermal and hydroelectric
power
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 generated less
electricity
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 than nuclear, and renewable
power
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 generated the
fewest
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least
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electricity
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 in each year. The main source of
the
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electricity
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 in 1980 was thermal
power
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, generating over 120
terawatt
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hours
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 of
power
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. Both hydroelectric and nuclear
power
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 stations only generated 75
terawatt
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hours
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 of
power
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, and renewable
power
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 provide negligible
of
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amount of
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power
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. One year later, nuclear
power
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 overtook thermal
power
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,
it
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and it
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 became the main source of
the
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electricity
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. From 1980 to 2005, the amount of
electricity
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 generated by nuclear
powerplants
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power plants
 rose dramatically,
the
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with the
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 highest peak
was
Wrong verb form
being
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 around 425
terawatt
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hours
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 in 2005.
By contrast
Linking Words
, thermal
power
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 and hydroelectric
power
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 were eight times lower than nuclear
power
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,
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;
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 both categories generated around 50
terawatt
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hours
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 of
electricity
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. Renewable
power
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 saw a
slightly
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slight
 increase between 1980 and 2012, from almost 0 to 20
terawatt
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hours
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 of
power
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, power, terawatt, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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