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Writing Samples
Band 3

Science tells us about the activities which are good for our health and others which are bad. Millions of people all over the world know this and still do unhealthy activity. Why do you think this is and what can be done to change it?

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Introduction
Meanwhile, Scientists aware
the populations
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 some topics related
concern on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 good and bad
acticivities
Correct your spelling
activities
.
However
Linking Words
, some folks ignore and still
practicing
Wrong verb form
practice
show examples
 unhealthy activities. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will suggest
few
Add an article
a few
show examples
 solutions that could be done to convince all
entity
Check wording
entities
show examples
 around the world to
get
Verb problem
adopt
show examples
 new habits resulting
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
healthy population.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
Linking Words
with
Punctuation problem
with,
show examples
 the
diet
Use synonyms
, it is the base of nutrients
necesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 to prevent or reduce some cardiovasculary disease.
For instance
Linking Words
, type 2 Diabetics. The patients
suppose
Wrong verb form
are supposed
show examples
 to watch their meals
carbohydrates
Punctuation problem
, carbohydrates
show examples
, fruits, salads and iron. A balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 is crucial for everybody for all
categorie
Correct your spelling
categories
 of the generation.
Newborn
Check wording
Newborns
show examples
, kids, adults and older adults.
However
Linking Words
, at night it recommended to eat no later than 2 hours before bed because of indigestion and health problems.
Body paragraph 2
Next ,
exercise
Use synonyms
. To
loose
Use the right word
lose
show examples
calories
Punctuation problem
calories,
show examples
 humain being have to practice sports or
exercise
Use synonyms
 to be healthy. Doctors say if
diabetics
Replace the word
diabetic
 patients
exercise
Use synonyms
 for 1
hour
Punctuation problem
hour,
show examples
 they don't have to take their
insuline
Replace the word
insulin
 injection. Nowadays, many people are going to the gym or
Use synonyms
exercise
Wrong verb form
exercising
show examples
 to keep
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 in good physical condition.
Therefore
Linking Words
, beside of the
diet
Use synonyms
 and exercice staying hydrated is
also
Linking Words
 important.
Conclusion
In addition
Linking Words
,
ressearch
Correct your spelling
research
 warns people about
essential
Add an article
an essential
show examples
 habit
that is
Linking Words
 important humain being,
diet
Use synonyms
 is the most important,
then
Linking Words
 physical activities
it
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
 recommand to go to the gym or yoga.
Also
Linking Words
, drinking water to stay hydrated
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
helps with digestion and
defecations
Check wording
defecation
show examples
.

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task response
Answer both parts of the question. Explain why people still do bad things for health, such as lack of time, stress, low cost fast food, or strong habits. Then give clear ways to help them change.
task response
Your essay mostly gives health tips about food, sport, and water. These are useful, but you need to link each tip to a real way people can change. For example, schools can teach children about food, and work places can give time for exercise.
task response
Use examples that are safe and clear. Do not say that people with diabetes do not need insulin after exercise. Say that exercise can help some people control blood sugar, but they should follow their doctor’s advice.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple plan: introduction; reasons why people make unhealthy choices; ways to change these choices; short ending. This will make your answer easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make one main idea in each body part. The first body part can be about why unhealthy habits continue. The next can be about what governments, schools, families, and people can do.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a clear way: First, Another reason, For example, As a result, and In conclusion. Do not repeat diet, exercise, and water in many parts without adding a new point.
coherence and cohesion
Write a clear ending. It should sum up the main reasons and say that help from people, schools, and leaders can make healthy habits easier.
task response
You have chosen health topics that fit the question, including food, exercise, and water.
task response
You try to give an example about diabetes and food, which shows an effort to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an opening and body parts, and you use words such as However, For instance, Next, and In addition.
coherence and cohesion
The order of diet, exercise, and water is easy to see.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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