More people today put their personal and private information online (address, telephone number, credit card number) to do everyday activities such as banking, shopping, and socializing. Is this a positive or negative development?
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic → Introduction
Nowadays
sharingPunctuation problem
show examples
personal
online is
commonAdd an article
show examples
practice in
life. Some people share
thereUse the right word
show examples
confidential
on
InternetAdd an article
show examples
. I believe
is a negative development.
Body paragraph 1
Many online sites like social media platforms ask for private
forPunctuation problem
show examples
instance, creating
newAdd an article
show examples
account on Facebook would required to provide name of the creator , phone number and the residence address.
,Punctuation problem
show examples
is common practice in today's life,
trend has many disadvantages.
Body paragraph 2
Sharing personal
could potentially increase
riskAdd an article
show examples
of getting
scamWrong verb form
show examples
as scammers get basic
through
InternetCorrect article usage
show examples
portal. Banking , social media and other shopping sites may be compromised with data and end up sharing all the
on wrong hands.
Conclusion
In conclusion, people put their private
on
InternetAdd an article
show examples
whichPunctuation problem
show examples
is
negativeAdd an article
show examples
trend as it has
manyCorrect determiner usage
show examples
disadvantages
thenUse the right word
show examples
benefits.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Give two clear reasons why this is a bad change. For example, talk about money loss after a bank scam and the loss of personal safety when an address or phone number is shared.
Explain each main point more fully. Do not only say that sites may be hacked; say what can happen next, such as a person using card details to buy things.
Use one clear example for each idea. Your Facebook example shows what people share, but it does not fully show why sharing it is bad.
Make your view clear from start to end. You say it is negative, but you can briefly note why people do it, such as ease in shopping, before showing that the risks are greater.
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, first reason, second reason, and conclusion. This will make the essay easier to follow.
Start each body part with a clear main idea. For example: "First, sharing private data can lead to scams." Then explain it and give an example.
Use linking words in a more exact way. Try "First", "Also", "As a result", and "For this reason" to show how your ideas connect.
Avoid repeating "information" and "Internet" too often. You can use "data", "details", "online", or "these details" when the meaning is clear.
You answer the question directly and clearly state that you see this as a negative change.
You give relevant ideas about scams, bank sites, social media, and shopping sites.
The essay has an introduction, body ideas, and a conclusion.
Your main point about scams follows in a clear order from sharing private data to possible harm.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.