The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

4.0 / 9
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
the
Capitalize the word
The
show examples
line graph
showes
Correct your spelling
shows
information about
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
participants in Melbourne
Australia
Punctuation problem
, Australia
show examples
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
the
period
Use synonyms
2000 to 2020
Linking Words
overall
Capitalize the word
Overall
show examples
, in the
beggin
Correct your spelling
beginning
period
Use synonyms
2000
Rephrase
, the 2000
film club
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
declined slowly
Linking Words
however
Add a semicolon
; however
show examples
,it
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
a little
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
in the end
Use synonyms
period
Punctuation problem
period,
show examples
it went up slowly
furthuremore
Correct your spelling
. Furthermore,
martial arts showed fluctuated to
while
Linking Words
period
Use synonyms
In addition
Linking Words
, Amateur dramatics shwed rose in the
beggin
Correct your spelling
beginning
period
Use synonyms
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
in the
middel
Correct your spelling
middle
to 2020
period
Use synonyms
declined quickly
Linking Words
also Table
Rephrase
Also, table
tennis was
fluctuate
Wrong verb form
fluctuating
show examples
in the beggin
however
Linking Words
grow fastly
looking
Capitalize the word
Looking
show examples
at the
deatiels
Correct your spelling
details
, Film club was 65 after that
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
slowly to reach 79
Punctuation problem
. Furthermore,
show examples
furthermore
Linking Words
Martial arts showed
fluctuate
Replace the word
fluctuation
to reach btween 30_40
also
Linking Words
Amateur dramatics showed in the
biggen incresced
Correct your spelling
big increase
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
, however
show examples
diclined qiukcly
in
Linking Words
addition
Punctuation problem
addition,
show examples
to Table
Rephrase
table
tennis  
fluctuate in
Rephrase
fluctuated from
2000 to
2005
Punctuation problem
2005,
show examples
 
reach to
Rephrase
reaching
20
afterthat
Correct your spelling
. After that,
in 2010 rose
fastly
Correct your spelling
rapidly
and reach in 2020 between 50_60 finaly Musical performances in 2005 grew and
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
to grwe to reach 28 in 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however, in addition".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rates
  • trends
  • significant increases/decreases
  • stable numbers
  • fluctuations
  • overall participation
  • comparison
  • activities
  • social centre
  • Melbourne
  • participants
  • highlight
  • report
  • graph illustrates/demonstrates
  • 20-year period
  • key features
  • main features
  • statistical data
  • variations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: