IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Write a letter to the manager. In your letter explain the problems you have had in contacting the company, and explain your dissatisfaction describe the problems with the car tell the manager what you want him to do You should You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to apprise you
to express
Change preposition
of
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 my dissatisfaction with the brand new
the
Correct article usage
apply
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car
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 bought
last
Linking Words
 week
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 well as with the ineffective communication. I tried
utmost
Correct determiner usage
my utmost
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 to make
a
Correct article usage
apply
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contact through email, phone and an
itext
Capitalize the proper name
iText
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 to explain the issues I am facing with my recent purchase.
However
Linking Words
, I
did
Wrong verb form
have
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 not
even receive
Wrong verb form
received
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 a single call back from your firm so far. Let me explain the obstacles
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 have been facing with my new car, the primary issue is its
incessantly
Correct word choice
incessant
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 noise coming
while
Linking Words
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 am driving. Apart from that, the A.C. works only when it is at its
higgest
Correct your spelling
highest
 level, which ultimately does not
gives
Wrong verb form
give
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 a low cooling when necessary. To
takle
Correct your spelling
tackle
 these problems, I would kindly request you to either replace the vehicle with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 sturdy one or to get
this
Linking Words
 repaired at your earliest convenience. I would appreciate your prompt action
to
Change preposition
on
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this
Linking Words
 matter. I am looking forward to
hear
Wrong verb form
hearing
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 from you. Yours
Faithfully
Fix capitalization
faithfully
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, Aman gill

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task response
You answer all parts of the task: contact problems, car problems, and what you want the manager to do. Add a little more detail, such as the date you bought the car and how the problems affect you.
task response
Keep the tone polite and clear. Use simple, direct words when you ask for a new car or a repair.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear order: reason for writing, car problems, and your request. Start each main idea in a new paragraph, as you have done.
coherence and cohesion
Make some long sentences shorter. For example, give the car noise its own sentence, then explain the air-conditioner problem in the next sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words such as "First", "Also", "However", and "Therefore" to make the ideas flow more smoothly.
task response
You clearly say that the company did not reply to your email, phone calls, or text message.
task response
You clearly ask for a replacement or a repair, so the manager knows what action you want.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and closing are suitable for a formal letter.
coherence and cohesion
The reader can easily find the main car problems: the loud noise and the air-conditioner.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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