IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Argument: Some employers believe that job applicants’ social skills are more important than their academic qualifications. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Introduction
Experience
Use synonyms
 has more value than a degree in certain
functions
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Linking Words
according
Punctuation problem
, according
show examples
 to employers. Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that
people
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 with more social skills are more capable
to
Rephrase
of working
work
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 than some
people
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 who only have academic qualifications, but
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 without
experience
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. In my opinion, qualifications are really important ;
however
Linking Words
,
work
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experience
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 has benefits for companies ,
such
Linking Words
 as avoiding training time.
Body paragraph 1
Young
people
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 sometimes have struggles finding a job after the university,in some cases having to
work
Use synonyms
 in lower
functions
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 to get relevant
experience
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. Most of the schools do not have practical lessons, with the main focus on theoretical studies, and that might be a problem. A good example of
this
Linking Words
 is electricians,
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 must have to
work
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 for four years as an apprentice to get the certificate, because of the countless possibilities that might happen on the job site.
Body paragraph 2
It is more convenient for companies to hire
people
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 with more knowledge in some
functions
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 to avoid extra spending. Workers with more length of
experience
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 may already assume some responsibilities because of their background and are able to do the job without any supervisor or special training program. In Australia, immigrant
people
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 who have worked for more than five years in some areas are able to apply for certificates without going to university.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the years of
experience
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more important than doing theoretical studies.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
, clearly those who have more time working
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 seen as better professionals for some
functions
Use synonyms
, having better opportunities and
also
Linking Words
 more responsibilities.

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task response
Make your main view clearer in the first paragraph. Say if social skills are more important than school results, or if this is true only for some jobs.
task response
Talk about social skills more. Your essay mostly talks about work experience. Add ideas such as speaking well, working with others, helping clients, and leading a team.
task response
Answer the exact question. Experience and social skills are not the same thing, so explain how each one helps a worker.
task response
Give a fuller reason for your view. For example, say that school results may be needed for jobs like doctors, while social skills may matter more in sales or service work.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear plan: introduce your view, give one reason about social skills, give one reason about school results or experience, and then end with your view.
coherence and cohesion
Make the first line of each body paragraph show its main idea. This helps the reader see why each paragraph is there.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words such as "however", "for example", "because", and "therefore". Use them only when the link is clear.
coherence and cohesion
Your last paragraph should restate your view on social skills and school results. At present, it mainly says that work time is important.
task response
You give a clear reason why firms may like workers who can start work with less training.
task response
The example of electricians shows that some jobs need real work practice.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two main paragraphs, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas move from young workers and training to the needs of firms in a generally clear way.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • facilitate
  • enhanced
  • productivity
  • amicably
  • foundation
  • real-world applications
  • implement
  • innovate
  • outweigh
  • paramount
  • emphasize
  • teamwork
  • cross-functional
  • effective communication
  • negotiation
  • collaboration
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