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Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features

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The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features
The diagram illustrates the stages and equipment involved in
Use synonyms
cement
Add an article
the cement
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 manufacturing process,
as well as
Linking Words
 how
cement
Use synonyms
 is
untilized
Correct your spelling
utilised
 to produce concrete for construction.
Overall
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,
cement
Use synonyms
 production is a multi-stage
linearprocess
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linear process
 that involves crushing, mixing, heating, and grinding raw materials.
In contrast
Linking Words
, concrete production is a simpler process where
cement
Use synonyms
 is combined with three other ingredients in specific proportions. To make
cement
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, limestone and clay are first fed into a
cursher
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crusher
 to create a fine powder.
This
Linking Words
 powder is
then
Linking Words
 blended in a mixer before passing through a rotating heater, where heat is applied.
Next,
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the heated mixture is placed onto a conveyor belt and passes through a grinder, which turns it into the final
cement
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 product.
Finally
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, the
cement
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 is packed into bags ready for use. In the second stage, concrete is produced by combining four materials in a concrete mixer. Gravel, which consists of small stones, makes up the largest proportion at 50%,
following
Wrong verb form
followed
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 by sand at 25%. The remaining ingredients are
cement
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 at 15% and water at 10%, which are all
rotated
Verb problem
mixed
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 together to create concrete.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cement with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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