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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some employers offer their employees subsides membership of gyms and sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so. Consider the arguments from both aspects of this possible debate, and reach a conclusion.

#employers #offer #employees #membership #gyms #sports #clubs #staff #work #benefit #arguments #aspects #debate #conclusion
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Seeking
way
Suggestion
a way
ways
 to motivate and enhance employee’s productivity has become a source of major controversy over the years. Some believe that providing free health care service at
gym
Suggestion
the gym
a gym
 or sport clubs will be beneficial for their staffs,
however
Linking Words
, I would argue that it would be better to reward employees in another way. On the one hand, it might be said that having a better health is the
primarily
Suggestion
primary
 precursor to the higher
out put
final product; the things produced
output
 of staffs. Suffering from serious diseases, workers are more likely to have less contribution to firms in comparison with those one who are in good condition. Due to the fact that, illnesses will limit their working productivity.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, another point should be taken into account is because of facing to a tight and volatile schedule, some staffs may find difficult to arrange their time for their interest as well as taking care of themselves, financial rewards would be
more flexible option
Suggestion
a more flexible option
. Should workers want to spend their bonuses, they will know what is the best for them and their family.
For example
Linking Words
, spending company’s bonus on visiting a science and technology museum with my parents, my interest in computer was piqued
.
Accept space
.
 After that, new idea online marketing was born that greatly generating our company’s profit in the
first
Linking Words
 quarter,
last
Linking Words
 year. In conclusion, maximizing accumulation always is the priority of all businesses,
however
Linking Words
, that should be parallel with offering workers financial rewards for their great working effort.
Submitted by minhtanledhv on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • subsidized membership
  • physical activity
  • energy levels
  • employee productivity
  • work performance
  • sick leaves
  • healthier lifestyle
  • absenteeism
  • employee morale
  • workplace environment
  • employee retention
  • corporate image
  • branding
  • health and wellness benefits
  • top talent
  • healthcare costs
  • medical intervention
  • lack of usage
  • underutilization
  • alternative wellness programs
  • mental health resources
  • flexible working hours
  • professional development
  • individual responsibility
  • corporate responsibility
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