IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. Do you agree?

#positions #companies #men #workforce #countries #percent #percentage #women
In some companies of the developed countries the top-level positions are handled by men,
although
 the female
workforce
 is the majority. In my opinion, it would be biased if the companies
mandatorily
 allocate a certain number of high-level positions to women. Academic background and skill set of an employee would help them in progressing their career irrespective of their
gender
. Companies should always ensure that, they keep developing the skill set of all the employees through various trainings and personality development courses. Transparent policies that allow people to understand why a particular individual is promoted will help them in understanding the management requirements. These policies will
also
 avoid the glass ceiling, thereby all the deserving
workforce
 can move up the corporate ladder without any partiality to the
gender
. If organizations start forcefully allocating a specified number of positions to female
workforce
, it will lead to a biased hierarchy structure.
Also
, if female employees without experience are force-fitted to a particular position, they might not be able to perform well. Employees should be continuously assessed and 360 degree feedback should be taken while promoting him/her to top of the pyramid. Another thing to consider is the culture and recruitment policy of the company. Institutions should treat the employees in an unbiased fashion, creating a harmonious work culture.
Also
, while recruiting new employees the
gender
 ratio of the organization should be kept in mind to ensure that the
gender
 balance ratio is maintained at all levels of the company. To conclude, employees within an organization should be treated equally irrespective of their
gender
 and academic background.
This
 kind of a culture will help the
workforce
 in progressing over the years and ensuring the top level positions are filled
gender
 neutrally.
Submitted by blah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender disparity
  • glass ceiling
  • workforce representation
  • gender diversity
  • equal opportunity
  • professional advancement
  • social equality
  • gender equality
  • empowerment
  • barrier
  • discrimination
  • inequality
  • bias
  • reinforce
  • inclusive
  • combat
  • strive for
  • promote
  • nurture
  • enhance
  • progressive
  • implement
  • quota system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: