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Writing Samples
Band 4

Many high-level positions in company are filled by men ,even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 60 per cent for women companies shoub be required to allocate a certain percentage if these positions for women. for what extened do you agree with that

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Introduction
It is universally accepted that: in many urban countries, men still get the high-level promotions even so women perform a high percentage in workplace by nearly 50%.
However
Linking Words
, some people claim that
:
Accept space
:
companies should be forced to give promotions for women, but in my opinion I strongly agree with that: high-level promotions should be filled by a person who is a workaholic regardless about his gender.
Body paragraph 1
I oppose the view and my reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs.
Body paragraph 2
First
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 of all, there is no doubt that women live have changed completely.
Body paragraph 3
One can find the gender roles do not
cotroll
power to direct or determine
control
 on our lives as much as in the past.
Body paragraph 4
But that dose not mean women have the whole qualifications in their career.
Body paragraph 5
For example
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, police women can not be like police
men even
Accept comma addition
men, even
 if they look more
agreesive
having or showing determination and energetic pursuit of your ends
aggressive
.
Body paragraph 6
So, the changes in
women
Suggestion
women's
 lives still need some support to get the qualifications.
Body paragraph 7
Secondly
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, people can not force companies and tell them what should do.
Linking Words
furthermore
in addition
Furthermore
,
companis concept
Suggestion
the company concept
company concept
a company concept
companies concept
 based on gaining more money,
Linking Words
moreover if
Accept comma addition
moreover, if
 women can offer that they will give her more money and promotions.
Body paragraph 8
in
Suggestion
In
addation
a component that is added to something to improve it
addition
, there is no denying that woman has a lot of
works
Suggestion
work
 to do during her day "cleaning, taking care of their kids "
Body paragraph 9
Linking Words
that
Suggestion
That
 is why most of female
work
Use synonyms
 as a part
time
Use synonyms
,
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,
whereas male
work
Use synonyms
 in full
time
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 10
I
belieced
accept as true; take to be true
believed
that is
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 the main reason
to
Suggestion
for
 giving men the
pormotions
a message issued in behalf of some product or cause or idea or person or institution
promotions
.
Body paragraph 11
For instance
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, according to
dely
cause to be slowed down or delayed
delay
Dali
time
Use synonyms
, 70%of women
work
Use synonyms
 in part
time
Use synonyms
jobs whereas
Accept comma addition
jobs, whereas
 the other 30%
work
Use synonyms
 in full
time
Use synonyms
whithout
in absence of
without
 their
familes
a social unit living together
families
.
Body paragraph 12
As a
resault
a phenomenon that follows and is caused by some previous phenomenon
result
results
,
female
Suggestion
females
the female
 should determine her job or her personal
live
go away from a place
leave
, but her choice is "family".
Conclusion
To conclude
,
Accept space
,
it is commonly believed that companies should give women high-level
conditons
the prevailing context that influences the performance or the outcome of a process
conditions
 and promotions, but I wholeheartedly believe that
this
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views
Suggestion
view
 should be changed, and focus on who is the best person to do his job sufficiently without thinking about his gender.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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