IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some countries today have passed laws against smoking tobacco in public buildings such as offices and restaurants. Other countries have no intention of doing this. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of the debate, and reach your own conclusion.

#countries #laws #tobacco #buildings #offices #restaurants #intention #arguments #debate #conclusion
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Smoking
at
Suggestion
in
public place
Suggestion
public places
a public place
has banned
Suggestion
has been banned
 in many countries whereas there are some countries still allow their public to continue without any
punishment
Use synonyms
. Society is divided into two regarding
this
Linking Words
 topic.In my opinion
,
Accept space
,
I strongly believe that public smoking has to be punished. On the one hand, advocates of supporting public smoking argue that
,
Accept space
,
the government cannot control individual freedom as smoking is
habit
Suggestion
the habit
a habit
 of a person and he has right to choose or not.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
the government focuses much pressing issues to tackle than
this
Linking Words
 silly
issues
Suggestion
issue
.To illustrate
,
Accept space
,
counties the USA and the UK never banned or punished
any one
any person
anyone
 who smoking in public places
instead
Linking Words
 they keep no smoking area sign where vulnerable groups might present like hospitals and schools
On the other hand
Linking Words
, public smokers are getting
severe
Suggestion
a severe punishment
punishment
Use synonyms
 in many parts of the world since smoking kills society as they emits deadly poisonous gas to atmosphere.
This
Linking Words
 can cause cancer, cardiovascular disorders and breathing issues.
Therefore
Linking Words
 the government may need to spend on treating his citizens.
However
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
by introducing
punishment
Use synonyms
 methods
,
Accept space
,
the number of smokers
have reduced
Suggestion
has reduced
 and people are becoming health as well. In my view point severe
punishment
Use synonyms
 for public smokers set an example for others that smoking should not be done
at
Suggestion
in
public place
Suggestion
a public place
public places
 along with repercussions would understand. In conclusion, public smoking and
it's
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
punishment
Use synonyms
 divide
public
Suggestion
the public
 into two.I consider punishing offenders
is
Suggestion
are
 a great way to reduce smokers.
Submitted by Sal on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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