IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree?

#employers #holidays #employees #job
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Undeniably, employees spend a lot of time at the workplace, which makes them stressed and anxious
and thereby
Accept comma addition
and, thereby
, affects the quality of their
work
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. There is a perpetuating debate over motivating workers to perform well by providing more holidays.
This
Linking Words
 essay will elaborate on my contention that giving longer holidays is entirely justified.
To begin
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 with, most of the companies are willing to give extended holidays to its employees. Is it completely preposterous? One could argue not. The vital reason is that taking time off from
work
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 will relieve a person from stress as they will be able to spend time with family, indulge in other personal activities etc.
This
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 way, workers will be able to achieve
work
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-life balance, which is utmost important in an
individuals
Suggestion
individual's
 life.
This
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 balance enables a person to fulfil his responsibilities at
work
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 properly.
For instance
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, a study by Oxford University revealed that performance levels rose drastically when employees were given enough holidays. Unequivocally,
this
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 bolsters my confidence that extended leaves result in
good
Suggestion
better
 performance of workers.
Nevertheless
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, allowing abundant leaves many results in employees becoming unwilling to
work
Use synonyms
 and
demotivated
Suggestion
.
Moreover
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, they become resistant to come back to
work
Use synonyms
 and are unhappy if they return. Overall, though,
this
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 is pale in comparison to the benefits associated with granting extended holidays to the workforce. In conclusion, it is often presumed that granting longer holidays motivates workers to do their job well.
This
Linking Words
 essay discussed and substantiated my argument that encouraging workers to take longer holidays is extremely necessary as it motivates them to perform better at their job.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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